Control
by Jacksgirl217
Summary: Cloud wasn't always a slave. But as he embarks on a secret and forbidden relationship with the Commander Leon, he begins to realise that maybe he is more broken than he ever though he could be. Rated for graphic scenes of rape. Be warned!
1. Control

A/N Just a few things before we get started. Obviously the XxxxxxX are to signify a leap back in time, so this story does jump about a bit. Also if you have any ideas about what to do with the second chapter please please please let me know. Any spelling mistakes I'm truly sorry but my spell check is not what it used to be.

Enjoy.

**Control**

Cloud wasn't the sort of person who would normally let himself lose control. He wasn't the sort of person that lets things happen to himself, or the sort of person who allows people to just do what ever they please to him. But he was so bone weary, so tired and alone that he felt he had no choice. Even more was the feeling of want. He had no compulsion to make Leon stop. He didn't want him to continue. A deeply entrenched voice in his head calling out to him through the fog of his tired mind to make the other man stop. But he couldn't make himself. He had been fighting for so long. How long had he been here now? Three months he thought. Three months of fear and fighting. He felt so exposed and out of control that he could hardly stop himself now.

Sephiroth, he was the reason for all of this. He was the man who had broken him.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Cloud was cold. The chill night breeze wafted in through the open window to cool his exposed skin but it was a cold from within that made him shiver. He would never have thought it possible but he was afraid. The man in front of him was tall and oppressive, a sense of power and menace pulsated from him so strongly that Cloud could taste it every time he took an unsteady breath in. He knew this man wanted to hurt him.

His breathing hitched and he took an involuntary step back as the General stepped towards him his eyes always lowered to the floor, not daring to look him in the face. A fleeting moment of panic that refused to ebb away quickly enough, and the General chuckled. It was deep and rich and textured with so much sinful amusement, Cloud had never heard another human being make that sound.

"There's nowhere to run to boy." his silky voice coiled out laced with mirth and danger. He took another measured step toward Cloud again and this time Cloud stood his ground. He would not give this man another excuse to make that sound again. It stopped his heart.

He saw out of the corner of his eye as the General lifted his hand and reached to place it on his neck. This time moving was not an option for Cloud. His frozen heart wouldn't beat and his heavy legs wouldn't carry him. He stood anchored to the floor, quietly trembling inside and the General softy rubbed his thumb over Cloud's throat, caressing the skin pulled tight over his Adams apple.

Moving his hand upwards the General turned Cloud's face to the left and then to the right looking at him appraisingly, as if trying to judge something.

"How old are you boy?" He asked not being able to read such information from his face.

It took a while for Cloud to make himself answer. "Nineteen summers." he replied quietly pleased with the fact that he managed to keep his voice steady. A pleasure that quickly disappeared as he heard the General scoff. "Huh, a country boy." He all but pushed Clouds face out of his grasp, making Cloud reel backwards for a moment. Anger boiled up inside him at the insult and he glared defiantly up at the huge man. Sensing the boys anger and spirit the General was thrilled inside. Finally he had a challenge. He had someone to break. His sickly smile spread across his beautiful lips at the though of it, making the diffidence in Cloud's heart wither and turn to out right fear.

"You will do, I think." Sephiroth stated, more to himself than to Cloud as he began to circle his new slave.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Before he could stop himself he let out a moan. It was quiet and breathy but it had slipped out none the less, hands that had no business touching him smoothed their way over his body. Cloud knew that he had no right to deny Leon what he wanted. His body was there to be used, even he would concede that now. But even so that small amount of defiance was still in him and he recoiled from Leon slightly. Confused with the feelings in himself. He longed for the touches, he was lonely. But he could not bring himself to give himself without a fight, no matter how small.

His eyes were tightly closed. He did not want to see his failure of strength in the Commanders face. He barely wanted to see the hunger there. God he wanted some human contact, some ounce of affection, but he couldn't bring himself to feel worthy enough of it.

A light brush of the fingertips and Cloud opened his eyes. He hadn't even realised he had shed any tears until he felt Leon wipe them away. His breath was stuck in his chest making him ache all over just for it to be released, he wanted comfort. He wanted peace.

"If I'm hurting you, I'll stop." Leon said in such a hushed whisper.

Panic spiked through Cloud at the thought of being left alone, but he couldn't bring himself to reply. He hated this confusion, this indecision. Once, he knew what he wanted and who he was. Now he just didn't want to be left alone in the dark like a child. Where had his pride gone?

But even as he asked himself that question he knew.

N…No! he managed to strangle out. His eyes hooded and tired. His mouth felt dry like sandpaper his head full of cotton and buzzing. "Don't go." He croaked.

Leon could see the pain on the slave's face. It was so open, as if he wasn't trying to hide anything, Leon doubted that he could. Leon could only imagine what this man had been through, what he had seen and been made to endure.

Taking Leon by surprise the young man cautiously and clumsily stepping into the small space between them. Painfully shyly Cloud tilted his head back and pressed himself into the warm body in front of him, relishing the heat. His skin goose pimpled as he gently brushed his lips against Leon's, the sides of their noses barely touching and their breaths barely mingling. It was shaky and unsure but Leon wouldn't allow the moment to pass.

Not caring if he scared the younger man he wrapped his arms around the figure that was already pressed tightly into his body. He cupped the back of his head as he deepened the kiss into something that involuntary and quite surprising made his cock jump. He had never felt a moment like that. A feeling so intense and arousing that he was hard within moments and on the verge of not being able to control himself. Leon felt the younger man clutch to him, his hands digging into the fabric of his shirt and he didn't know whether it was because of desperation, or panic. Letting go of his death grip, Leon traced a gentle hand up the side of the young man's body, tracing the line of his neck, jaw and then finally as their lips parted he ran his fingers over the slave's mouth. So gently it was almost reverence as he traced the lines and contours of the man's face, brushing high cheekbones and finely arched brows. They were still so close to one another, Leon's free hand still wrapped tightly around the slave keeping him close and warm.

Leon's gaze left his wondering and fell on Cloud's eyes. They were misted but pinpricked with fear and in that moment Leon felt rage that something that made him feel this wonderful should ever feel fear, should ever be afraid of him. It wasn't a conscious decision but Leon decided then to try his best to take this man's fear away. He would try and save him.

It was a feeling that contrasted sharply to the tightness in his trousers. He ached for this man. It was pulsing in his jugular just underneath the skin, the heat and the frenzy just baying to be set free if only he would slip and allow himself to lose control. Leon was afraid what he would do if he lost control.

He pulled away, turning his body half away from the slave who now stood exposed. Leon was ready to run, to turn away and forget it all. It would be better for this man if he never saw him again. Leon knew it was a selfish voice that stopped him from actually running, it was the same voice that once convince him as a child that it would be alright to play with his fathers sword as long as he didn't get caught. He knew he must ignore that voice, to turn now and go and pretend that none of this had happened. He would have done. He was about to when the slave's voice broke through everything in his mind and he knew then that this man had the power to command him to do anything.

"Please… Don't leave." And he didn't. He turned slowly back around to face him, the torment of indecision still pleading in Leon's eyes. '_Don't make me regret this'._

Leon knew he was taking advantage. But it's a powerful thing, denial.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Once again a shiver ran up Cloud's spine. A gutting, sickening feeling began to pit in his stomach as the General was stood immediately behind him, breath ghosting over him, heat radiating off of him. Uncertainty kept Cloud's normally abrasive temper chilled, knowing that he was way out of his depth helped him see sense too. Creepily, like it had always been there he felt Sephiroth's hand snake around the back of his neck and guide him across the floor to the bed. Feeling his knees weaken at what this move meant for him he tried to stall, pushing back on the vice like grip. It was a pitiful attempt really, if only an instinct.

"Shhh, you mustn't struggle slave." He cooed icily, bringing his other hand up to grip Cloud's bicep. The word infuriated Cloud. He may have been captured and sold like a common sheep, but he was no slave. He would not be broken, of that he was sure.

"I am no slave, Bastard!" He spat feeling all the fear and frustration of being torn away from his village, his mother and his friends. The agony of not knowing where they were or if they were even still alive. The invasion had been so brutal. It was over so fast. He was afraid now. Afraid for himself and his mother, afraid of this man that was so obviously powerful. Afraid that he had let his words run away from him and he would pay for his fiery temper. Afraid because he didn't know what was coming. Afraid because all he heard in reply was that same icy silky laugh. It felt like poison in his ears. Filling his head with shame and terror.

"We shall see about that, won't we?" Sephiroth chuckled forcing Cloud closer to the bed, his knees hitting the edge so that he was forced to throw his bounds hands out in front of him for balance.

"Kneel." Came the harshly bitten command and he was pushed from behind, the bruising grip in his neck still guiding him.

Cloud kneeled up onto the bed, breathing heavily, hoping, whishing, praying that he wouldn't loose control. His eyes darted all about himself looking for anything that could help him, or a way out before telling himself not to do anything foolish that would cause him to come to an untimely end. He didn't want to die, but he didn't want to be a slave either.

He felt Sephiroth kiss the back of his neck where the Generals fingers had been and he nearly vomited then. His heart skipped two beats and pounded back into life with such force he was sure it would break his ribs. He swallowed thickly, hoping for anything to happen, a diversion or something so that he would be saved.

The General's kisses moved out along his shoulder and back again, his hands slowly rubbing his arms up and down.

"You taste delicious." he stated in his dangerous voice.

The first pricks of moisture began to sting at Cloud's eyes, his eyebrows furrowing upwards to try and control and keep down his wildly thundering fear. Determined to regain composure and not give anything away he closed his eyes, smoothing his traitorous features out. He would not break.

"Have you ever been fucked before?" Sephiroth asked, one hand falling to caress the crease of Cloud's buttocks, roughly cupping him from behind.

Cloud's carefully placed mask cracked at this, his eyes flew open and he chocked on the breath he was trying to steady. He didn't realise but he was shaking. He didn't answer, he wouldn't give this bastard the pleasure of knowing either way. But Sephiroth seemed to know the answer.

"No matter," He chuckled "You soon will have."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

He took a step forward closing the distance again between himself and the younger man, seeing a spark of relief wash through his already watery eyes before he closed them.

Cloud's moment of panic was over and he thanked the Gods and who ever was listening that he wouldn't be alone again tonight. His relief was so strong he didn't even care about the humiliation of acting like a child, or the shame of admitting he was weak. He felt the Commander's arms encircle him again, and the unfamiliar but reassuring weight as the man rested his chin on top of his lowered head. It was a gesture of comfort that was relished even though it was not given for long. Almost as if he was angry at such a turn of events, Leon pulled away. Grabbing the slave's wrist he led him over to the bed, his movements jerky and impatient. He was angry yes, but only at himself. He had stepped over a line now that he couldn't turn back to. He had accepted the responsibility of this man's emotions and he was afraid that he would never do them justice. How could he possibly take care of him?

Cloud was confused, sensing the slight turn in atmosphere his brows furrowed and his shoulders tensed. As they reached the bed he was spun round, the grip on his chapped and already bleeding wrists was stinging and he hissed from between clenched teeth. He wasn't really afraid, not like he should be, not like he was the first time. But a sense of foreboding was building in him anyway. He hadn't thought of the Commander as a cruel man or a rough lover but he had been wrong about so many things, he doubted himself almost constantly now.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

The initial pain was so blinding that Cloud bit himself. Braced on his forearms with his head pushed into the mattress, his trousers were ripped from his waist and left to pool around his knees. Sephiroth was behind him, hands gripping feverishly at the boy's hips as he fucked him hard.

Pride was the only thing that Cloud could think of holding onto now. He wouldn't let the General have anymore of it than he could take. Crying out was not an option, so he turned his head to the side and bit heavily into his forearm to stop himself from screaming out. He didn't even realise that the small whimpering sounds and throaty groans were already coming from him. He couldn't hear anything apart from the blood rushing in his ears, or the slapping of flesh against his backside, or the grunts of excitement from the General.

Wave after wave of fresh pain tore through him with every thrust, seeming to get worse with each new stroke. A kind of ferocity was building up behind each one and it was as if the General was pouring all of his malice and hate into his act. He was filling Cloud up with his pain until the only world that existed for the slave was inside himself. Nothing was real outside of his torment. His mind was a torrent of rushing nothingness. Blackness filled his vision and he didn't even realise when he gave up his vow and began to scream.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Something in the way that the slave was holding himself made Leon freeze. A deathly chill entered his chest and it rapidly spread though his entire body. It wasn't so much the defensive way the slave held himself, or the obvious bruises and welts covering his body. It wasn't even the way that he hung his head as if he shouldn't have been expecting any sort of comfort tonight and he was a fool to believe he could have had it. It seemed to be all of those things and more. Looking at him now Leon realised for the first time how utterly broken and shattered this person was, how proud he must have been in the first place and how little the young man had realised about how far he had fallen. He felt a sense of fate then, and it was strangely comforting to him. He knew that no matter how far he pushed himself to stay away from this man, or how hard he tried to save him, it would all be decided for him.

Leon carefully drew the slave into him, pressing light kisses to his temple and over his cheek, making sure to apologise for his misplaced temper just moments earlier.

"I promise, I'll never hurt you." he whispered, hoping that this was a promise that both of them could believe.

"You can't promise something like that." The slave whispered back in his cracked voice, not wanting anything from this man apart from company. He couldn't afford to ask for anything else.

Leon was resolute, he had made a promise to himself if no one else.

"I promise to try then." He amended.

Cloud didn't hear it anyway.

"Just promise you won't leave." Holding on tighter to the Commander he hid his face away in the crook of his neck, inhaling the scent that he would come to memorise and know.

Leon nodded in acceptance. He wouldn't leave, not tonight or any other night.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Another slap sounded out in the large bedroom, the echoes of which faded long before the sting of it would. Cloud's neck hurt from the violent force, and he slowly, meekly turned his head. Hate boiled in his eyes as he looked up at his captor. Not for the first time did he wish that he would never see those burning green eyes ever again. But each time he raised hope by escaping, it was crushed before him.

"I'm getting sick of these games boy!" The General's voice was dangerously low and calm, but with a sense of urgency towing quietly underneath that could not be ignored.

"At first they were amusing, but now they are just tiring." He extended. Slowly circling Cloud like some great stalking animal.

"You will learn your place." It was a command.

Knowing he had nothing more to loose apart from his pitiful retched life, which he longed to end anyway, Cloud was in no mood to be challenged.

"Fuck you!" He hissed as he spat at the General's feet.

"As you wish." The General barked, lunging his prey, knocking him clean off his knees.

Cloud only had a moment to spit the blood from his mouth before he was lifted by his arm and thrown towards the bed. His back hit the pillar and he slumped to the floor, struggling to breathe as the wind was knocked from him. As the General came closer, Cloud kicked out hoping to swipe away the bastards feet from under him. But he was dizzy and uncoordinated, only succeeding in kicking the General in the shin. His hands that were tied behind him prevented him from regaining balance and he was left there squirming on the floor as the General took delight in delaying what they both knew was to come.

"I admire you boy, I really do. But this has gone on for long enough." He reached down and yanked Cloud's head back by his dirty blond hair, exposing his bobbing throat.

"You will not try to escape again. Let me tell you why." he knelt down using his other hand to cup Cloud's balls squeezing them tightly every now and then.

"If you do, I will end your pathetic little life. Ill cut your dick off and choke you with it, before skull fucking you to death. Do you understand?" he hissed, punctuating his words every so often by twisting his hand in Cloud's hair.

"Go on then, I dare you. I don't fucking care. You hear me? I want you to kill me!" Cloud shouted, his voice filled with hate and anger and tears as he hoped he had pushed the General far enough but knowing he would never be able to do that.

The General pulled Cloud to his feet before throwing him over the bed. Quickly he climbed up behind him and devastated his slave of his clothes.

He was poised at Cloud's entrance before he leaned over and hissed in his ear. "Soon boy, maybe I will. But not before you see your fucking mother and all your friends die first!"

Before the hope of seeing his mother could be replaced with the idea of watching her die, Cloud felt the General enter him.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Cloud gazed out of the window at the glowing lights of the gloomy city. The falseness of the street lamps blocking out true night and creating an eerie persistent twilight. From his angle on the bed he could only see rain clouds that were stained orange from the city underneath them, the droplets of water on the window glowing murky tangerine.

Gentle hands brought his gaze back to the present as they softly turned his chin to face them.

"Hey, keep looking at me ok?" A soft question was asked, reassuring him that it would be ok and that he didn't need to focus on anything else to block out the pain.

"I promised." Leon reminded him as he caressed the side of Cloud's face. He lent down and kissed him then, going back to his ministrations, hoping that every touch would fill Cloud with a passion and not a fear.

It was hard for Cloud to not expect the sudden pain, or the humiliation, or the shame. He expected it. He looked for it at every turn, every tender touch or soft butterfly kiss. But it never came.

A feeling of intense buzzing pleasure filled his head and he sucked in a shocked breath. He looked down to see Leon's mouth engulf him, his tongue swirling up and down causing him to shudder and whimper.

"L…Leon." He fisted the sheets not knowing how to control this feeling of utter bliss. Gentle reassuring hands placed themselves on his hips, holding him still. The pads of Leon's thumbs ghosting over bruises put there in anger and domination.

Slowly, the smallest sounds of pleasure began to break from Cloud's lips, urging Leon to move faster.

Leon's hand left Cloud's hip and travelled under his leg, stroking at all the exposed places as he went. Carefully so as not to scare him, he stroked his way down to Cloud's puckered opening, lingering ever so slightly on the sensitive skin around it.

Sucking harder on him, Leon gently as he could pressed his first finger inside. A sharp intake of breath was his reply. Leon knew the mixture of pleasure and burning that Cloud would be feeling now, and he wanted Cloud to know that it was normal, that he hadn't broken his promise.

"Leon!" Clouds voice was shaky and unsure now.

"Shhhh, its okay." Leon replied as he let go of Cloud. His finger was still inside of him working him out but he stroked the side of Cloud's face with his other hand.

"Just relax, I Promise I'll make you feel good." He kissed his way back down and took Cloud into his mouth again, hoping that this would not be too much. He hoped.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

His mothers dead face was all he could see when he shut his eyes. If he could have slept he would have seen her in his dreams too. But _HE_ had seen to it that he would never be able to sleep again. He lay next to _him, _not daring to move, not able to move. His body was beyond broken, his soul along with it was far away, in a place that no one could reach it. Not even him.

His mothers dead swinging body repeated itself behind his eyelids never looking away, transfixed in horror. The General had hung his mother and a few other slaves for 'desertion', the irony not lost on Cloud, just a few hours ago. The pain was still fresh, would always be fresh in his heart. He would never forget. He would never forget that it was his fault. His fault.

His only redemption came from compliance to the General now. Tifa would be safe if he would be good. He had to do this, for Tifa, for his mother.

It took all his strength to turn on his side, his back facing the General as he slept. He daren't move his legs for the pain that would erupt in his ass if he did so he just lay there and allowed himself a few more tears.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Only once, when Leon entered him, did the image of his dead mother flash behind Cloud's eyes. He nearly panicked, nearly threw the Commander from him and told him to leave and never come back. But she abated. She left him alone and he clung to Leon, Forgetting everything that was wrong in his life. Forgetting his promise to Tifa, knowing this could mean her death if he was discovered.

He let Leon take their places.

He had no idea. No idea it was supposed to feel like this, that it even could. There was no pain, no humiliation. No shame.

Holding onto him so tightly that he left nail marks in his skin, Cloud threw back his head, letting Leon claim his neck in sucking kisses and small bites. Cloud looses himself in the rocking motion and soon before he's even aware he feels something is about to happen. The feeling is so intense that he can't control the panic in his chest.

"Oh God….Leon!" He chokes out, wanting this but afraid of it all in the same second as he comes. Harshly and violently that tears leak from his eyes, his head is thrown back and he lets out a beautiful cry of pleasure.

Leon comes with him, riding his orgasm in guilty waves. Knowing he shouldn't be enjoying what he has in his arms but unable to stop himself. He seems to keep coming forever, loving the feeling of Cloud wrapped around him, his cock deep within him.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

"On your knees!" the General ordered. And Cloud knew he had to obey. He had no choice in anything he did anymore. He wouldn't be the one to let Tifa down.

Cloud kneels in front of his master and does as he's commanded. Unzipping his trousers and taking him in his mouth, no questions, no disobedience, no fire.

Compliance.

That's all it is.

A/N I suppose this can be a stand alone, but I'd like to do a second chapter with what happens after Cloud and Leon wake up. However this one was such a ball ache to write. It just did not want to be written. I'd love some ideas about where to take this.

Hope you all enjoyed. X.x.x.x.x.


	2. Of Things Left Unsaid

A/N Second chappie up, hope it entertains. I know I enjoyed writing this chapter as opposed to the first which was just one massive ball ache to write.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters used in this story, I'm pretty sure the plot has been used to death a thousand times as well, I'm just playing with them.

Chapter Two

Of Things Left Unsaid.

_Cloud slept. As he slept he had a dream, Cloud dreamed that he was in his home. His mother was working in the field just beyond their small house, the smells of the peat from the fire, the autumn and the smouldering leaf piles wafting in through the open front door, the scent of yesterday's broth still warming on the hearth. There were sounds of work being done in the village, the Blacksmith and the market. Although in the dream the sounds were distant and muffled as if being heard through a wall, Cloud was still comforted by them. He was reassured and at peace to just extend his senses about himself and try to soak up the memory all of the things that reminded him of home. His body was light, he felt himself moving around the small kitchen, gently touching everything within reach as if mapping everything for the last time. He came to the small window in the front of the house, just beside the door, and looked out, the rays of the late September sun falling on his face as he saw the children playing in the street outside. Among them was Tifa, playing mother, making sure none of the smaller ones wondered away or got hurt, and Cloud smiled. He wanted in that moment to go out to her. But he couldn't force himself to leave his hiding place. Instead he watched Tifa and the children play, hearing their laughter rise up above the other mingled sounds of the village as they ran about. He was content. He always had been, there in that village, in his house. _

_He shut his eyes and tilted his face towards the sun, letting it warm his skin. He breathed in deeply and let it out slowly knowing that he would never ever feel this at peace anywhere else in the world. Sensing the sun disappear behind a cloud as the air around him went cold, he lowered his head and cracked his eyes open. His blood ran cold. Through the tiny window he could see his entire village in flames, the children lying dead in the street where moments before they had been playing. Tifa was still among them, her lifeless body burnt and charred almost beyond recognition. And beyond them all, swinging from the remaining eves of a smouldering house, hung his mother's body. Her hand's limp and heavy by her side._

Cloud's eyes flew open, his breath trapped in his chest as the panic and sudden shock stabbed at him. He sat bolt upright, a choked gasp finally escaping him as his heart hammered in his chest. His shoulders shuddered with the force of his ragged breathing as he tried in vain to control the residual fear still lingering from what he already knew was a nightmare. His whole body trembled with the effort it took for him not to scream. He clamped a hand over his dry mouth, wiping the cold sweat from his face with his clammy shaking fingers.

"Cloud?" a tired whispered voice called out from behind him. Cloud didn't hear it, his mind still wondering the burning streets in his thoughts, his head filled with the sound of laughing children but his vision still scorched with the images of the dead bodies and ruined houses.

Leon sat himself up in bed and tentatively reached out to place a hand on Cloud's shoulder, feeling the younger man jump and then tense underneath his touch. Cloud remained as still as he could, his eyes closed in concentration, trying in vain to stop the shuddering and shivers that rippled through his body. He tried once to open his mouth to say that he was okay, but his voice would not come to him. Not sure how to comfort him, Leon began to rub tentative circles over Cloud's back, hoping that the wordless gesture would be enough to sooth him. Gradually Cloud's tremors stopped and his breathing evened out and all that was left was a thick and oily silence that coated the room. An explanation was needed.

"Are you okay?" Leon asked as his hand came to rest at the base of Clouds back. Cloud nodded not fully trusting his voice yet. "'m fine." He managed to croak out. "Just a dream." He whispered, almost as if to reassure himself. The images were fading, along with the ghostly voices, but the long shadows of the early dawn that stretched out in the Commanders bedroom seemed to add weight to the dream's reality, and the feeling of foreboding was hard to shake. Cloud knew that it was silly to feel so ominous about something that had already happened, but he couldn't rid himself of the heavy impression in his heart.

"May I get up for a while?" Cloud asked in his standard issue undertone.

"Of course." Leon replied, slightly perturbed by the sentiment of such a question. He never fully understood just how much hetook for granted. Cloud got up from the bed and pulled on his trousers, forgoing his regulation tunic top and crossed the bedroom and let his self quietly out into the living quarters.

The soft click of the latch signalled that Leon was alone in his room and as he lay back down, he realised that sleep was a distant memory now and he was wide awake. He let himself remember a few moments from the night just gone, before his logical brain returned to the present and what he was going to do when the General returned. It had only been two weeks since Sephiroth had gone, leaving Cloud in Leon's care and Leon knew he would have at least another month with the young man before the General returned from his mission, but as always Leon was not that short sighted. He was well aware that he had started something. Something that he wasn't sure he could stop. He didn't even think he wanted to stop, but he also knew that to carry on; even under Sephiroth's nose was a lesson in suicide, not just for him but for Cloud indefinitely. He would have to see just how far Cloud was willing to take this; after all it wasn't just his life he was risking but Cloud's as well.

He was considering giving a few more moments thought to what '_this'_ actually was before the thought of what Cloud wanted entered his mind. There were so many uncertain possibilities that without Cloud's input, Leon just couldn't begin to answer them. Rubbing the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger he decided that it would probably be best to just take this one day at a time. Of his lust for Cloud, there was no question, but where it would lead the both of them, Leon couldn't say.

Cloud rested his forehead against the cool glass of the window pane. His breath ghosted out from lightly parted lips and misted the smooth surface. Out of all of the confusion in Cloud's mind there was one thing that he was certain of. Cloud was angry at himself. In one night he had opened up a whole new world of pain and difficult choices. He had just wanted some comfort. The pain of his loneliness had seemed so hard to bear alone, and for the price of one night in the arms of someone who wouldn't hurt him he now had to make a decision that was too hard to even contemplate. He already knew that one night with the Commander would not be enough. Even if it had have been he was stuck there with him for another month, something was bound to happen. Even so that argument was obsolete because he wanted it. The satisfaction and silent comfort he had found in Leon's easy company was already powerfully addictive. How could he have let this happen? He knew now with an absolute certainty that he couldn't go back. He had left himself with few too options and far too many questions that he did not have to answers for. He had backed himself into a beautiful and complicated corner and what scared him the most was that he knew that no matter what the risks, and regardless of the price he would find a way to be with the Commander at any opportunity. Even after their month together was up, Cloud knew he would seek Leon out before long and risk any punishment from Sephiroth, even risk Tifa's life. Cloud hated himself for accepting that fact so willingly. He knew he was selfish for gambling so carelessly with something so important, but there was a part of him that just didn't care. He craved his peace so much that he didn't care who or what he gambled with. The knowledge that he had become such a coward made Cloud's heart ache and in that moment he was glad that his mother was dead.

It wasn't until the warm rays of the six o'clock sun softly hit his face that Cloud opened his eyes and looked out onto the city beneath him. For a moment or two as he took in the beauty of the cityscape around him, all thoughts melted away and he just stood and stared.

All his life had been spent in the countryside. Until his village had been attacked and all of the useful people rounded up and penned into caged wagons. Everyone else had been slaughtered, the elderly and the very young. Anyone who was of no use or that couldn't be sold was killed, and the rest had been taken off. After three days travelling Cloud had laid his eyes on Radiant Garden for the first time. He had heard of it, but never even dreamed of seeing it and now here he was a slave in it. Not for the first time Cloud wondered about fate and how it seemed that no matter how he had planned for his life, or how much he tried to steer it in one direction, the decision always seemed to be out of his hands. No one understood that feeling better than a slave.

The door to the Commander's bedroom opened and Leon stepped out. Cloud did not turn around to watch as Leon softly padded over to him and joined him in looking over the early city. It was enough just to feel him beside him. They stood in respective silence for a few more minutes, each just at ease with the quiet but there was one burning question in Cloud's mind that he had to have answered. It wouldn't matter to him what the answer was, he was in this with the Commander now regardless of what sort of a man he was, but Cloud needed to know all the same.

"How can you do it?" he asked softly, his eyes still roaming the many buildings and streets below. A few seconds of puzzled silence from the Commander followed before he turned to look at Cloud.

"How can I do what?" he asked tracing and subconsciously memorising Cloud's profile in the early morning light.

"How can you do all that you do? You're a Soldier, you kill and capture and take over." Cloud paused for a moment but Leon didn't interrupt. "You don't...You don't seem to be like that. You aren't like... Him." Cloud said the last in an almost whisper, hoping his outright fear of the General was not too detectable.

There were a few more moments of silence as Leon thought of a way to answer him. "I guess... I was always meant to be a Soldier." He said simply as he turned back to gaze out of the window. "There was never another option for me. My Father wanted me to be a Soldier; I grew up with it being my only goal in life. I just... never thought of being anything else."

Cloud considered those words for a few seconds before another question came to him. "Do you like it?"

The question obviously surprised the Commander as his eyebrows shot up into his hairline and he turned to stared openly at the man standing next to him. It took him a few moments to process the question before he replied earnestly. "I don't know."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

"Are you afraid of me?" Leon asked as they lay in bed. They had spent a comfortable day together in relative silence, just pleased to be in on another's company knowing that each others loneliness was being kept at bay just because the other was near. That night as the Commander had returned from on official duty he had taken Cloud by the hand and led him to the bedroom. There had been some residual tentativeness left over from the night before but as Cloud relaxed and gave himself over to the knowledge that there was no fear to be felt with Leon he let the Commander make love to him. And now with the shadows and the thick black night creeping in around them Leon sat propped up, Cloud resting against his chest listening to his steady heart beat; it didn't take long for the young man to answer him. "No."

Leon gave a nod in acceptance knowing that Cloud would not see it. He wanted now more than ever for Cloud to know even just the beginnings of Leon's thoughts. This was so new and dangerous for the both of them that Leon couldn't even begin to think about more than a few days ahead but he needed Cloud to know his thoughts all the same.

"I want you to know...just that...I'll never treat you like a slave, Cloud." He said his voice low and firm. "While we're here, together in this room, you're not a slave to me." He felt Cloud stiffen, his palm that had been laying flat against Leon's stomach now balled into a fist. "To everyone else, we have to appear as they expect. You know that right?" a small nod was his only answer, but he wouldn't let it put him off from saying what he wanted. "But to me you're just Cloud, and I won't treat you any differently okay?"

Cloud did not answer straight away. He swallowed thickly against something in his throat before he answered tentatively. "Why?"

"Because...I...because I don't want you as a slave."

Clouds mind was a tumbling scattered mess of thoughts as he tried desperately to establish in his mind exactly where he stood, what his role was. "What do you want me to be then?" he asked innocently. He heard Leon sigh quietly before he answered.

"Just be you, okay? No more asking for permission. Don't be afraid of me, please." Cloud knew then what he meant and he nodded. Embarrassed a little at his childish behaviour and shamed by his conditioning. He felt Leon hug him closer and he responded by placing his palm back, flat against his skin, feeling the contours of the Commanders body. The affirmation that passed between them in that moment led Cloud to acknowledge a question that he had been trying to avoid since Leon had first kissed him.

"What do we do when _He _comes back?" the question was like a heavy blanket being thrown over the both of them, neither of them wanting to think about it let alone put it into words. It was a while before Leon spoke again.

"I don't know."

A/N I have decided that this should defiantly become a multi chapter story. I wrote this and I was like I CANNOT JUST LEAVE IT THERE! There must be conclusion people! So I don't want to go overboard and start something that I'm not likely to finish so let's just say this has potential to run to maybe four or five chapters. I hope this chapter gives a little bit more info on backgrounds, settings and character development and all that jazz. As I was re-reading the first chapter I was thinking to myself 'No one apart from me is going to know what the funk is going on here' so TADA...backstory! When I get a chance I will go back and edit the first chapter and make it more reader friendly but for now I'll just concentrate on updating. Hope you all like and I will update soon.x.x.x.


	3. Soldier, soldier

A/N Yay another chapter. That's two in two days…go me!

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters used in this story, I'm just playing with them. I make no monies from this either…mores the pitty!!!!!!!!

Chapter Three

Soldier, Soldier.

"I found her." Leon called as he walked in through the door. He seemed excited and pleased with himself, a smile plastered across his face as he waved a piece of paper under Cloud's nose. Cloud just looked back at him, his face blank with not understanding.

"It took me the best part of a week and it wasn't easy but I found her Cloud!" Leon exclaimed again his face positively beaming as he shook the piece of paper again for emphasis.

"What, you found who?" Cloud asked standing up from the couch taking the paper. He scanned the name and address written on the otherwise blank parchment and he swore his heart nearly stopped beating for a moment or two. He read it twice and then three times before he turned a wide eyed stare at Leon, who was grinning back at him.

"How… I don't…How did you get this?" he asked looking back at the name again just to be sure he wasn't dreaming. He felt his legs and hands start to shake at the possibilities of what this meant.

"Does it matter?" Leon asked, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"I don't believe it, she's alive?" Cloud asked as his legs finally gave way and he sat back down on the couch with a plop.

"Alive as anyone can be, she's living with an old couple on the other side of the city." Leon replied as he took a seat next to the young blond.

"Tifa? I…I don't know what to say, I…" Cloud trailed off as he re read Tifa's name and address scribbled across the page in Leon's fine script for the tenth time. He turned to the man sat next to him and looked at him with wild unbelieving eyes. Cloud saw the excitement in Leon's face and the genuine pleasure at having given him something that he had longed for made Cloud's heart twist in an agonizing happiness. His face dropped into an earnest expression before he looked back at the paper. "Thank you."

Turning back to Leon he leaning in and planted a solid kiss onto his lips, bringing his hand up to cup the back of Leon's head to make sure that it was deep enough to convey what he meant. It was the most initiative that Cloud had ever shown with Leon and the Commander was taken aback by it for a second. The kiss was strong and full of meaning but it was short. After a couple of seconds Cloud pulled away, his eyes catching Leon's and the way they held a surprised but exultant look in them. They both shared a coy smile before Cloud turned back to the paper, his cheeks burning a soft pink.

Leon cleared his throat, fidgeting with his trouser leg as he struggled to gain control over a sudden burst of glee that erupted in his chest. Running a hand through his hair he stood up and walked into the kitchen, hoping to regain some composure. "Would you like a drink?" he called giving himself a reason to be in there. Cloud didn't answer at first and when Leon popped his head round the door he found Cloud staring intently at the piece of paper, but not really seeing it.

"Cloud?" he asked as he took a step back into the room. "Cloud, are you alright?"

Cloud sighed heavily and frowned as he turned questioning eyes upon Leon.

"You said she was living with an old couple?" he asked his voice loaded with apprehension.

"Yeah, on the other side of town." Leon Said.

"Is she a slave then, like me?" Cloud asked looking away as he said the word.

"Yeah but, these guys are really nice, so I'm told. Not like…" Leon trailed off as he wondered back to the couch and perched right on the edge, knowing what he had almost said even though it was still too late. He had already said enough.

"Not like me huh?" Cloud finished for him. He put the piece of paper to one side and gave it one last cautionary glance before staring intently at the carpet. "What am I supposed to say to her?" he asked his voice low and hushed. "I…I can't…" he seemed to be struggling to find the right words to describe his sudden jet lag of happiness from just moments before. "I can't bring her into this, it would be best if I didn't contact her. I can't risk her life anymore than I am doing." He finally said after a pregnant pause.

"What do you mean?" Leon asked shuffling closer, concern written all over his face at Cloud's sudden mood swing. "What do you mean 'risk her life any more than you already are doing'?" the confusion more than apparent as Leon picked up the discarded address and checked it over just to make sure that there really hadn't been anything else on there to make Cloud change his mind so rapidly. "Cloud?" he pushed after several seconds of silence.

"It doesn't matter; I just shouldn't contact her okay?" Cloud snapped back, wanting that to be the final word on it. He stood and made to walk over to the bedroom, hoping to get some space from the suddenly icy tension in the room.

"Don't walk away, I asked you a question!" Leon snapped back as he too stood up and made to follow him.

"And I said it didn't matter." Cloud answered knowing that this would end in only one of two ways. He hoped that it would be his way. He walked through into the bedroom and shut the door behind him, hoping that it would stay shut but knowing it wouldn't. As predicted Leon stormed through it, sending the door slamming into the wall.

"Don't fucking walk out on me. Answer the God dammed question." He barked throwing the piece of paper at Cloud's feet.

"Is that an order, _Master_?" He stressed the last word hoping to hit a sore spot with the Commander, anything to divert attention away from the point. The look of rage that came over Leon's face at the insult made Cloud feel sick. He wished in that second that he could take it back and say something placating instead, but he stood his ground refusing to back down and apologies.

Leon came at him then, his steps hard and sure footed. His face was pale with rage and his eyes held a glint of well controlled malice. Cloud backed up but wasn't quite fast enough as Leon reached him and gripped him round the neck, forcing him into the wall behind him. Leon shoved him with such force that Cloud smacked his head against the dry wall, stars exploding behind his closed eyelids. The hand around his throat tightened and his eyes shot open to see Leon almost snarling at him.

"Don't ever call me that. Don't ever compare me to _HIM_!" He hissed. "Do you understand?" he was practically shaking Cloud; his grip was vice like as his fingers nearly crushed the younger man's windpipe. Cloud reached up and tried to pry Leon's fingers away from him but he was strangling him so hard. Cloud knew he had to do something before he passed out. He couldn't believe that this was Leon in front of him, he was on the verge of closing his eyes and denying the whole thing, but another tight squeeze to his throat convinced him otherwise. He let out a chocked cry as he still tried to grapple with Leon. Aiming as carefully as he could Cloud took a swing with his knee and hit Leon hard in the crotch. Leon instantly let go, doubling over in pain as he stumbled back and fell hard onto his ass. His face was strained with the sudden unexpected pain as he cupped himself, trying hard to take a breath into his winded lungs.

Cloud crumpled to the floor, his breath coming in choked gasps as he hacked in huge lungful after lungful of air. He rubbed at his bruised neck ripping hard at the collar of his tunic, feeling like it was still choking him. He coughed violently as tears of shock and pain began to sting his eyes. The sudden overwhelming panic of realizing he had almost been choked to death made his heart flutter and the threatening tears actually begin to fall. A flood of fear, panic and betrayal came over him then as he realized the full extent of what had just happened and he could hardly bring himself to think. 'Leon had gotten angry with him and tried to hurt him.' His heart was stinging with treachery and confusion as he struggled to clear his vision and look about himself. 'How could Leon do that?'

After a few moments more cloud's breath came easier to him and he mustered the strength to pull himself over to the bathroom and hastily shut the door behind him. Locking it he turned and lent against it, bracing himself up on shaking legs that threatened to give way at any second. He wasn't sure how long he spent in there but the next thing he heard was the front door slamming and the apartment was silent again. Relief flooded through him as he realized that Leon had left and he sank to the floor, folding into himself as he let the massive feelings of sudden loneliness and emptiness envelop him.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

A knock at the bathroom door was the next thing that Cloud heard and it took him a few seconds to realize that he had fallen asleep. Still sat in the same position, he knew that he had been there for some time as he whole body ached. Shaking his fuzzy head his thoughts were thick as if trying to think through cotton wool, his vision blurred and his head pounded. Another knock sounded, this time tentative and unsure.

"Cloud?" a hesitant voice sounded through the wood. A few seconds passed before Leon called out to him again. "Cloud, are you in there?"

Cloud shakily got to his feet, feeling his muscles stretch and ache in protest. He lent his forehead against the door almost as if the wood wasn't just shoring up his body but his whole being, bolstering him for what was to come.

"Cloud, please…Answer me." Leon pleaded.

Cloud tried to make his voice work but his throat was sore and tight. It was almost as if an invisible hand was still wrapped tightly around it, refusing to let him speak. He tried harder, pushing through the pain to call out in a scratchy gravelly voice. "I'm here." He was still lent heavily against the door, his eyes closed in concentration, as his world around him wavered and hazed. None of it seemed real, his troubled sleep still clinging to him even as he tried to shake himself into wakefulness.

"Cloud, I….I'm so sorry I…" Leon's voice was muffled through the door and to Cloud's sleep fuddled brain he could hardly concentrate on it.

"Please Cloud, can you just come out? So I can talk to you properly." Leon pleaded hoping that whatever it was that he had done, whatever damage he had caused, he could rectify it before it was too late. There was more silence as Leon feared that Cloud would never talk to him again. He feared that the younger man would never look him in the eye or even worse would never trust him again. Leon didn't know what he would do with himself if he knew he had caused that. A few more agonizing seconds passed before he heard the lock snap back and the handle being turned. He stepped away from the door, not knowing what he would be greeted with when it opened.

Leon swore quietly to himself as Cloud emerged from behind the door, leaning on the handle and door frame for support as he tentatively stepped out. His head was lowered; his face half obscured from sight by his long blond bangs but even from this angle Leon could tell that he looked like shit. The collar of his tunic was ripped and underneath it, peeking out from the rough grey fabric were finger shaped bruises and bright red marks that contrasted sharply with Cloud's pale skin.

"Oh God, I…..I'm so sorry Cloud." He all but whispered. His heart was so heavy with his guilt that it felt like he couldn't breathe. He took a step towards the young man and to Cloud's credit he didn't move, he just clung on the door handle, his knuckles turning white with the strain of being upright. Leon was within touching distance and as he reached out to take Cloud's pale face into his hand he saw Cloud flinch away from him just ever so slightly before relenting and allowing the gentle contact. He tilted the blonds' face to look at him, but Cloud's eyes were averted, looking everywhere but at Leon.

"Cloud, please look at me, I'm so sorry." He repeated again.

"I know you are." Cloud rasped out, his voice husky and broken. "'ts okay." He placated as he removed his face from Leon's grip. He walked unsteadily around the Commander aiming for the bed, feeling too bone weary to continue standing up any longer. "Can we just sleep now?...I'm tired." He said simply as he sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Not until I've explained." Leon replied firmly, crouching down in front of Cloud trying to regain some sort of eye contact.

"Please Leon, I just want to sleep." Cloud pleaded.

"No listen to me, I… I don't know what came over me. I just… I just couldn't control it." Leon began, hoping that at least some of this was getting through to Cloud. He looked about ready to fall asleep where he sat. Leon placed his hands on Cloud's legs, covering his trembling fingers hoping that the contact would force some concentration.

"I just got so angry; I thought you thought I was like him… I just wanted…I don't know. I just saw red." There was only silence from Cloud as he lifted his eyes to look at the Commander, his gaze accusatory and harsh as something clicked behind his dull blue eyes.

"Please don't think I'm like that, I don't know why I did it." Leon tried to reason but he knew there was no reasonable excuse for what he had done. Or at least he thought there was none.

"No…you're just a Soldier, that's all." Cloud said, his voice low and lifeless but yet still full of emotion and disappointment.

Leon shook his head at the stinging comment. He refused to believe that that was all there was too it. He refused.

"No, I'm not like that…I promised." He reminded Cloud.

Cloud sighed and wondered if he was going to get any sleep at all. "Well then I was right wasn't I? I guess you can't make that kind of promise." His voice was coming to the end of its use and he swallowed thickly against the pain.

"It doesn't matter anyway. I'd rather it be you than him." Cloud pulled away from the Commander and lay down on the bed; too tired to even get under the covers he closed his eyes and waited for sleep. The last thing he heard was Leon closing the door behind him, leaving Cloud alone in the thick welcoming darkness.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

He awoke again some hours later to the feeling of someone running fingers through his hair. A body was pressed up against his back and as he sent his fuzzy gaze about the room he saw it was still swallowed up in the shadows of night. He let out a soft noise almost like a grunt and he shifted a little, liking the feeling of the gentle fingers massaging his scalp.

"Cloud?" he barely heard Leon whisper.

"Hum?" he hummed in reply, feeling like this night would never end and he would be forever stuck in a loop of tiredness and a groggy dull ache.

"If you think Tifa is in trouble then you need to tell me." He whispered as he continued to sooth the young man, placing a small kiss to the back of his head. Cloud winced as Leon caught the spot where he had hit his head against the wall but he didn't say anything. "I can help her. I can help you." Leon said pulling himself closer to the body in front of him.

"No you can't, but its okay." Cloud replied sleepily.

"Yes I can. Just tell me what I need to do." Leon pleaded placing more butterfly kisses on Cloud's neck hoping to softy take away the damage he had done.

"Nothing…Just…when the time comes, just stay away." Cloud said, the dull ache moving to his heart as he realized what he was saying. There was a heavy silence then as Leon hoped that Cloud wasn't suggesting what he thought he was.

"What?" he asked not wanting the answer.

"When he comes back, just stay away. That's all you have to do." Cloud finally said as he gripped tightly to the hand that had encircled him. He pulled it to his chest and hoped that he would never have to let go.

Leon's heart was thundering in his chest and he was sure that Cloud could feel it.

"I won't do that… I can't." he said his soft voice full of anguish.

"I know…"

No more was said as Cloud fell back into a dreamless sleep, Leon soon following him.

A/N OMG I'm such a bitch! Where the hell did that come from I wonder? Neh who cares….woop!

Hope this update was juicy and lovely for you all. I'm off on my Hols on Thursday but I am taking my laptop with me so hopefully I will get another chapter up in the next two weeks. However if I'm having far too much fun to post then don't yell!

Enjoy!


	4. Whatever's for Us

A/N Hey, sorry about the longish wait, I went on me hols and when I came back my internet was down. I've only just got it back this morning so....onward. The title of the chapter is from a Joan Armatrading song by the same name. I did have some lyrics as well but I had to remove them to meet with rules and regs. Anyway, hope you like this chapter, it took me nearly three days with re-writes to finish.x.x.x.

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot. All characters and places belong to Square Enix

Chapter Four

Whatever's For Us

Leon had no desire to spend the last remaining weeks with Cloud in a mournful silence. He knew their time together was coming to an end and that soon he would have to pretend that nothing had happened between them. Even worse he would have to stand by and watch while Cloud was defiled, raped and abused. Leon wasn't sure which one he found more distressing. But he was determined to cherish every second that they had left. Cloud on the other hand seemed determined to fight him on that issue. It was almost like the younger man was closing down every day that brought him closer to Sephiroth's return and Leon was at a loss as how to stop him sliding even further. Leon sat at his desk in his bedroom, his work spread around him in a chaotic but strategic manner, but he could not concentrate. Cloud was sat on the bed, his back up against the headrest his knees brought up so that he could rest the pad of paper on them. Leon watched as Cloud practiced writing and spelling. Knowing that Cloud had come from a poor farming village Leon had suspected that Cloud could hardly read let alone write, so he had set Cloud the challenge of learning. He hoped it would keep his mind from wondering to less enthusiastic topics and keep him occupied in the mean time. Cloud had proved to be a fast learner, and Leon had almost found it a challenge himself to find his young lover ever more advanced books to read and passages to copy.

"Stop staring at me, you're putting me off." Cloud said with a small curve of his beautiful mouth. His eyes left the page he was concentrating on and flicked over to stare mockingly at Leon from under hooded lids. Leon knew that Cloud had no idea just how maddeningly attractive he looked in that moment and it wasn't a manoeuvre to manipulate him. It was a look purely unguarded and beautiful and it made Leon's chest swell with emotion.

"I can't help it; you're more interesting than my work." Cloud's smile widened a little at Leon's playful words. "You're more beautiful too, which is very distracting." Leon continued as he threw his pen back onto the desk, resigned now to the fact that he was simply not going to get any more work done with Cloud just feet away from him, smiling like that.

"It obviously doesn't take much to distract you then." Cloud replied pretending to go back to his work but unable to concentrate knowing that Leon was looking at him so intently.

"Well it's hard to concentrate on politics when you have a raging hard on in your pants." Leon quipped back feeling his cock swell with the mental images he was allowing to flood his mind now that he had given up the pretence of working. Leon saw Cloud duck his head slightly and knew without even being able to see his face that he would be blushing. Leon stood and walked over to the bed, sitting just inches away from Cloud making the bed dip with his extra weight. Along with his blush Cloud wore a small smile; it was a private smile that suggested how much Leon's words had an effect on him. Leon loved it. Knowing that that smile was just for him and no one else would ever see it. Along with the colour of his cheeks it made Leon's heart almost burst with an overwhelming feeling that he could not place. It made him want to cry and fuck all at the same time. Acting upon the latter of those two thoughts Leon took the pad of paper from Cloud's hands and threw them to one side.

Anticipating what Leon wanted Cloud lifted his head and welcomed the kiss. It wasn't what he had been expecting but instead a fiery passionate and possessive kiss that stung his lips and made his chest warm with unexpected feelings. He felt consumed by Leon as he willingly opened his mouth to let the Commander take what he wanted. He let Leon pull him up so that they were both kneeling on the bed their bodies flush their hands beginning to roam.

Feeling braver than he usually did Cloud brushed his hands over the waistband of Leon's trousers, his fingertips skimming the sensitive skin there. Encouraged by the throaty moan from the older man Cloud tried again, this time pushing his fingers underneath the fabric and stroking the skin closer to Leon's pubic line. Cloud felt Leon claw at his back bunching the fabric of his tunic in his hands as he grappled trying to get more contact. Cloud couldn't deny the pleasure he got from his hold over Leon. Everything he did seemed to make the older man want him more, and in turn it made Cloud's lust fiery and manic. He wanted to take Leon to the edge of his control and see how far he could push him. Cloud would even concede that he wanted to take Leon far past that and force him to a point of no return. It was almost like Cloud wanted Leon to never be able to stop, not even if Cloud begged him to. Leon broke away from him and turned him around, attacking his neck with savage sucking and biting kisses. The familiar feeling of submissiveness enveloped Cloud and he let Leon position him, knowing all the while that there was something wrong this time. A distracted thought niggled in the back of his mind as the two opposing feelings of wanting Leon to fuck him and the fear of not being able to stop it clashed together. Would Leon stop if he asked him to? Would Cloud ever ask him?

Leon bent Cloud forward, ripping at his trousers as he tugged them down franticly, and as a fearful and terrifying comparison between Leon and Sephiroth came to the front of Cloud's mind, he was unable to escape the question that he found himself asking in his own mind. 'If Cloud pushed Leon that far... Would he enjoy it?' the horror of such a question made a terrible uncontrolled fear burst in Cloud and he tried to struggle free from Leon's grip, his lust long forgotten.

"No, stop." He said as he turned away from Leon, covering himself in embarrassment and shame. Leon's face was a picture of confusion and panic.

"What? What's wrong?" he asked reaching out to Cloud to try and placate him.

"I...I don't want to do it like that." He replied his face flushed with embarrassment and horror as he tried not to contemplate the images of what he had just dragged up. He couldn't bare the possibility of wanting Leon to do that to him. It was sick.

"I... I want to see your face." He said simply hoping that Leon would understand. He didn't want to explain that feeling Leon behind him like that made him think of _HIM_. Not only that, but it made Cloud think of Leon in less than savoury ways as well. It occurred to Cloud then that they had never made love it that position before and that on some level Cloud had been avoiding ever having to.

Leon understood. He understood all too well, and he was angry. Angry at himself yes, he should have realised and been more tactful but he was angrier at Sephiroth. Leon had hoped that he could make Cloud forget all of that. Leon hoped that when they were together no terrible images haunted Cloud and that the only thing that Cloud saw in his mind was Leon's face.

"It's okay Cloud." Leon said as he inched closer. "I understand. I'm sorry, I just didn't think." If only Leon could make Cloud understand, make him forget and just make him _see! _Suddenly Leon had an idea. He hoped it would rid Cloud of all of his visions for good and convince the blond to trust him and his self completely. It was going to take some faith though.

"Come with me." He said as he took Cloud's hand and led him to the bathroom. Once inside he closed the door and turned to the younger man. He took his face in his hand and kissed him hotly but shortly. He pulled away and looked into his eyes, wanting him to know that whatever he said next he mean it and Cloud could trust him.

"Face the mirror." He said as he turned Cloud around by his shoulders. Cloud obeyed and put his hands out on the sink to support him as Leon came and stood closely behind him, his chest pressed to Clouds back.

In the mirror Cloud could see Leon looking at him, his face blank but the emotion swirling in his eyes spoke volumes of what he intended to do and why he was doing it. Cloud himself wasn't so sure and the look of trepidation showed clearly in his fine features.

"I want you to trust me." Leon spoke softly, running his hands up and down Clouds arms for comfort. "I won't hurt you, and if you want me to stop I will but I want you to just relax and let me do this."

Cloud swallowed thickly but gave a small nod of the head. Regardless of what Sephiroth had done to him, he still felt that soft slow burning in his groin and he wanted Leon, looking at his gentle earnest face in the mirror he knew he would do anything that Leon asked and not just because he felt he had to.

Slowly, Leon began to undress Cloud until he was naked and staring at his own body in the mirror before him. Since being captured Cloud had managed to avoid looking at himself for too long and certainly not his whole body, but being faced with it now, scars and all made him wilt and feel small and ashamed.

"You have nothing to be ashamed of." Leon said as if reading his mind, knowing that ashen look on his lovers face. Cloud just shook his head dropping his gaze from his reflection, suddenly feeling cold and vulnerable. Leon knew he had to move this along before he lost Cloud altogether. He quickly undressed himself and stood up tall and protective behind Cloud, pressing his bare chest up against him to give his silent support. Reaching round he took hold of Cloud's neglected cock and began to bring him back. Subtle sure strokes made Cloud's ears buzz with a mixture of heady pleasure and hot embarrassment. He couldn't bring himself to watch their reflection, feeling like a voyeur looking in on someone else's intimate moment. He gripped the sink harder as Leon skilfully brought him back to full hardness, pressing his erotic kisses on Cloud's neck making him shiver inside. "I want you." Leon whispered as he tried his best to get Cloud to relax and accept that this was Leon, just Leon and no one else. He could see that Cloud's eyes were shut tightly and that his knuckles were turning white as he gripped the porcelain. Thorough his back he could feel Cloud's heart beat quicken until it was a steady thumping that must have been aching in Cloud's chest. As he guided his own cock to Cloud's opening, parting his smooth ass checks as he did he was very aware that his plan might backfire if he couldn't get Cloud to stay in the moment and not let his memories engulf him in darkness. Before he pressed himself inside he took a hold around Cloud's chest, snaking his arm underneath Cloud's rigid ones, hoping the gesture would be taken as one of protection and comfort. "Open your eyes, look at me." He said his voice throaty and thick with passion and apprehension.

Cloud did, reluctantly and as his eyes connected with Leon's he felt the older man push his penis into him. In that moment all of his senses were filled with Leon. He could feel his deep and intimate touch, see his unwavering stare and smell his closeness, even taste him in the back of his throat as he took shallow sharp breaths in. Cloud was unable to look away as he felt Leon begin to thrust into him and he couldn't deny the fact that it was Leon now. No lingering memories could replace his lover as Leon filled him up and took away haunting images and the fear that accompanied them. He was overwhelmed and felt like he wouldn't be able to take anymore, nothing had ever felt this intense before and it felt like it would consume him. Removing one hand from the sink he clutched at the hand that encircled him, needing to ground himself before he was lost. The feeling of Leon sliding in and out of him made his head feel like it was filled with sparks and although he desperately wanted to look away and close his eyes, just bask in all of the sensations that he was feeling he could not. Leon held him, with his body, his hands and his eyes Cloud could do nothing but let it happen to him and knowing that he wanted it that way made his cock jump in Leon's hand.

Leon could barely contain himself to slow steady thrusts. He wanted nothing more than to bend Cloud over the sink, pressing his forehead against the glass and drive his cock into him. But he held back, the intensity of Clouds stare, the look of utter abandon on his face as he knew that his plan had worked. Leon knew that in Clouds mind now, there were no more ghosts to hold him back. That moment when they moved together, when they were so perfectly joined that Leon felt as if he could read Cloud's mind was the moment that brought Leon to the brink. He felt his release coming fast and strong. Trying with all his might to hold it off he set a new pace, pumping Cloud in time and watching as the sudden change in tempo set Clouds cheeks aflame and bathed his face in pure euphoria. His eyes slid shut, unable to keep his eye contact with starts exploding behind them, Cloud let his head fall back to rest on Leon's shoulder. Seeing his lover throw his head back leaving his neck and body so vulnerable, seeing Clouds cock, purple swollen and hard with his own hand wrapped around it pushed Leon over the edge and he came in a rush. His breath gushed from him, strangling him as his orgasm was so powerful it was almost painful. Cloud felt it inside of him, he heard Leon's stilted cry and he couldn't hold it back any longer. White hot light flashed behind his eyes, pushing at his temples and throbbing in the centre of his head as he came long and hard. He didn't even realise that he was shuddering, Leon along with him until he opened his eyes to find that they had both sunk to the floor, their legs having given way beneath them. Slowly his hearing came back to him and above the rushing of blood in his ears he could hear Leon panting heavily, his mouth just millimetres away from the shell of his ear, his skin prickling where Leon's breath washed over him.

Kneeling there, with Leon still clutching tightly to him, with Leon's pulsing cock still inside him, Cloud had no thoughts in his head. His own breathing was fast and the weight of Leon pressed against him all mixed together in the immediate seconds after sex imprinted itself onto Cloud's memory. He would never forget this moment.

Leon was the first to move. After long minutes he finally stirred and pulled out of Cloud, a soft exhale from his young lover as he did so. No more words were spoken, no more sounds were uttered as Leon turned on the shower and offered Cloud a hand to stand up. Taking Cloud's face in his hands, Leon committed the look he found there to memory. Cloud was flushed, small drops of perspiration rested on his clammy skin, stray bangs sticking to his forehead and neck, his eyes were full of warmth as they glowed and his lips were moist and slightly parted, letting his breath rush past them. Tempted beyond any control to stop himself Leon kissed him, pulling him into a short embrace before turning away and pulling the younger man into the shower with him.

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Cloud had not said a word since emerging from the bathroom. He had merely stretched, yawning a little as he climbed into bed exhaustion taking over. Leon had climbed in beside him, wanting just to hold him close and be still with him for a while. Gradually though it became clear that Cloud's thoughts were drifting again and Leon could sense that he was brooding. But before he could even open his mouth to ask, Cloud had already beaten him to it.

"You're going to ask me what I'm thinking about, aren't you?" he asked almost sarcastically. Leon smirked despite himself and tried to suppress a small laugh.

"You do have a way of filling the room with thoughts even though you haven't even opened your mouth." Leon replied. There was a few more seconds of charged silence before Cloud spoke again.

"My mother always used to say that she could hear me thinking a mile away." He said without any humour. He realised that it was the first time he had spoken about her since...

Leon could feel the heartache radiating off of Cloud. He knew something had happened but he had never heard Cloud mention his family before. Unsure of how to navigate such a conversation, he didn't want to tread on any toes or open any old wounds but he didn't want Cloud to continue being so distant with him. He was already determined to make their last two weeks together as happy as it could be and maybe if he revealed a little about himself it might encourage Cloud to open up.

"I never knew my mother." He said matter-of-factly causing Cloud to turn over and look at him. He waited for Leon to continue, knowing that he would.

"She died giving birth to me." He said, this time with a bit more of a pull in his words that made him realise that this was the first time _he _had spoken about his mother since he was a child. It also made him realise that he very rarely thought of her either. "I know nothing about her. Not even her name." He said as he wondered whether this had been such a great idea. Frown lines had appeared between Cloud's brows as he took in the information.

"What about your father, hasn't he told you anything? Haven't you asked him?" he said puzzled that Leon would not wonder about his mother so much that he neglected to ask about her.

"I never knew my real father either. I was adopted." Lean replied flatly. "I was born in a shitty rundown apartment sometime in August around about twenty five years ago, though I can't be certain. My mother had died giving birth to me. She must have lain there with me for two or three days before the landlady found us. She was the one that rescued me and brought me up until I was about five. She was an old lady herself and I came home one day to find that she had died in her chair." Lean stopped, looking away over into the far corner of the room as if that was where he would access all of his memories. "I had nowhere to go, so I became a street kid, you know those filthy children you see rooting around in dumpsters sleeping in shop doorways. I survived begging off people in the street until my foster father found me and took me in. He's a Soldier. He gave me a home and a job, he raised me, I...I don't think I would be here now if it wasn't for him." Leon said his voice finally giving way to some emotion other than the woodiness that he used to describe his early life.

Cloud felt an immense swell of sorrow for Leon. He couldn't even begin to imagine the kind of life he must have led. To not even know exactly how old you were, when your own birthday was. "I'm sorry." He said simply, not knowing what else to say.

Leon seemed to pull himself together and Cloud was sure he actually saw his walls being fitted back into place. "Huh, don't have to be sorry. Can't miss what you never had right?" he said almost to blasé.

"Right." Cloud agreed a little forlornly. He felt obliged now to talk about his own mother, which he most defiantly didn't want to do, but he had the feeling that sharing their pasts, regardless of how truly awful they had been was something that could bring them together. A sort of understanding of souls.

"My mother..." Cloud stopped himself. He had been about to say that she had died but he knew that that was the wrong way to say it. "My mother was killed." He corrected himself. Cloud felt the ensuing silence fill with anticipation for the rest of his story, and to Leon's credit he didn't push Cloud for it.

"When...when I became Sephiroth's...slave, I mean...at first I... I wasn't always like this. I hated it...not that I don't hate it now...I mean...back then, I fought it. I fought him. I was determined not to be broken. I was determined not to let him win." Cloud stopped himself from saying more. He didn't know whether he would be able to finish. "I escaped four, maybe five times. Each time they brought me back and I would be dealt a different punishment.... after the fifth time, he ran out of punishments for me. I made it clear that no matter what he did to me I didn't care. I think I thought that if I couldn't escape then I _wanted_ to die. I wanted to push him far enough so that he would kill me." Cloud words had taken on a hollow tone, like he wasn't really talking about what had happened to him but it was about someone else, someone that he could safely disconnect all emotion and feeling from, like he was reading from a story book. "He killed my mother instead." He said the last quietly, seeing it all happening again in his mind's eye.

The weight of Cloud's words pressed in around Leon. He felt himself flush with anger and disbelief, hating Sephiroth even more than he already did.

"He made me watch, and then when it was over he said that if I ever tried to escape again, if I ever disobeyed him in any way, then Tifa would be next." Cloud finished after he was able to finally get his voice back in order.

Suddenly everything that Cloud had said the other day made sense. His reasons for not wanting to endanger Tifa any more than he already was doing, his melancholy about her in the first place. Everything was clear to Leon now and it made his own guilt about what he had done to Cloud ten times stronger. To have lost your mother before you even knew her was one thing, but to have her taken away from you before your eyes, feeling like it was all your fault was completely another. Leon's chest was filled with pain for Cloud and instead of filling the silence with hollow apologise that he knew would never help he stayed quiet. He pulled Cloud into an embrace that he hoped would convey all that he wanted without words. Words were useless to him anyway.

Cloud appreciated the gesture, unsure as to whether he could take an 'I'm sorry' anyway. He didn't want to hear that. He didn't want anything in that moment apart from Leon and the silence and sleep.

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Leon was awake. Within moments of the dream ending he was bolt upright and dripping with sweat. Like most of his dreams he had trouble remembering details but he was dam sure what this one had been about. Looking over beside him he saw that Cloud was still asleep. Glad that he hadn't woken him, Leon slipped out from under the covers and quietly left the room. Above all else Leon felt disappointed. He hadn't had that dream in years and he was gutted that after so long, just a few moments talking about his past had brought it back. He had worked so hard to forget.

_A line of women and children knelt before him. All quivering with fear, their terror written all over their faces as some clung to one another; others trembled silently as they seemed to know that this day would not end well for them. Their dirty clothes hung off them; their smoke smudged faces pale and malnourished. It was clear that these were the poorest people from the farms and villages that dotted his country and he felt an overwhelming sense of compassion and understanding for them. Save for a cup of chance, he would have been like them too. His sword was held limply in his right hand as the end of the blade scratched the dirt and he couldn't even bring himself to look at them. He had hoped that becoming a Soldier would change his life, make it better in some way, but as he saw the devastation of the burning village around him, all of the bodies that littered the streets he felt that hope fading. And now these seven women and children lined up before him compounded the fact that he had placed his faith in the wrong hands._

"_I can't." He said. Feeling the General stood behind him, his forcefulness and his manic anger pushing Leon to do what he had been ordered. He thought for a split second that the General would strike him, but he didn't. Instead he moved away and went to stand by one of the prisoners. He looked over to Leon with an expression that Leon could not place. It was one of humour but something else as well._

"_I knew you would not be able to." Sephiroth said with mirth in his voice. He was mocking Leon now. "You are weak." He said simply as he took hold of one of the prisoners. She was a young woman and she would have been pretty if she had not been so filthy and skinny. Sephiroth grabbed her by the hair pulling her upright from her bowed supplicating position._

"_After this day, you will learn never to cross me again Commander." He said the last word in a sneer, continuing to mock Leon and his position. "Don't forget that I gave you your title and I can take it away again." With that, Sephiroth sliced the girl's throat. Her blood gushed out in long red spurts her eyes going wide with surprise and then fear. _

_Leon knew that he would do it, he knew that all of the women and children in front of him, even the whole village was there to die. That was why they had come here. This was his lesson. He had to stand there and watch it all, because he had disobeyed his General. These people had died because of him. _

_One by one the women and children in front of him were slain and Leon didn't even lift a finger to help them. He fought bravely to hold back the tears that were stinging his eyes, but the nightmare that was happening in front of him was too vivid. He would never forget their faces._

_When they were all dead, the General turned to Leon and smiled a wicked half smile. Picking one of the dead children up like it was no more than some rag doll he threw the corpse at Leon's feet. Leon jumped back disgust flooding him as tears finally sprang free._

"_Their blood is on your hands." Sephiroth said before turning and walking away, leaving Leon stood in the massacre._

Leon splashed cold water onto his face from the tap in the kitchen as he remembered the day that filled his sleep with nightmares. He had learnt a valuable lesson; Sephiroth was not to be underestimated. Leon had been very careful not to do so since that day eight years ago, and he realised as his thoughts turned to Cloud curled up asleep in the next room that that lesson was slipping. He had put himself and Cloud in danger. He knew what Sephiroth was capable of and he had no doubt that Cloud had at least some idea too.

Leon thought then of his foster Father and all the things that he had promised him as a little boy. How they had turned out to be hollow and empty. '_He promised me the world' _Leon thought as he remembered what his Father had said to him.

"_Become a Soldier, and no matter where you came from or what Class you belong to, you will always have a better life." _

Leon looked around himself at his apartment. Certainly he had nice things, a home of his own, money and even a small amount of fame, but at what cost? Sephiroth was mad, and because of them both, people had died and their blood and his compliance had bought it all.

"I'm such a coward." He whispered quietly to himself as he rubbed his forehead. _'I should just leave.'_ He thought to himself. He had thought of running away many times before, but never had that feeling been stronger than the fear of what would happen if he did. Now it was different. Now he had two reasons.

Opening the door to the bedroom he climbed back into bed and sat watching Cloud sleep. _'Now it's not just me who needs to escape."_ Leon very gently brushed back stray bangs from Cloud's face, stroking the creamy skin of his cheeks.

"Now I have you." He whispered before lying down and curling himself around his lover. It was a long time before Leon fell back to sleep.


	5. I Had A Dream

A/N Chapter five is up, I hope you all like. Thanks to all of my amazing readers. Your comments make me happy like tequila.

Chapter Five

I Had A Dream....

Cloud was tense, Leon could tell. He had been like it for the past three days and Leon had no doubt that it was because Sephiroth was due to arrive tomorrow. He did not want to let himself think about what that would mean. He wasn't a fantasist, but when it came to this, Leon preferred to imagine that Cloud would be his forever, without Sephiroth, without the class system, without...anything. In a perfect world, Leon wouldn't have to share Cloud with anyone, in a perfect dream, Cloud would be his.

"Stop chewing your lip." Leon berated affectionately as he sauntered over to the window sill that Cloud was perched on. "You'll make it sore." He added softly as he took Cloud's face into his hand and gently rubbed the offending article. Cloud blushed slightly and smiled loving how without even saying a word, Leon knew what was distracting him and even more importantly he knew how to take his mind off it.

"I know it's hard, but try not to think about it okay?" Leon said knowing that it was a less than helpful suggestion. Cloud's small smile faded at this and he turned his head out of Leon's hand to look out of the window again.

"I know." He said bluntly. "I'm trying."

Leon sighed. Deciding that it wouldn't be a good idea to get into another argument over it, he walked away, picking up a file on the couch as he did and walked towards the door.

"I have some work to do, but I'll be back tonight okay?" he said as his fingers rested on the door handle. There was silence from Cloud and it made Leon turn around to look at him. Cloud's gaze was lowered to his lap and Leon could have sworn that Cloud was shaking slightly. "Okay Cloud?" he asked a bit more forcefully.

"Okay, but... "Cloud replied trailing off as the words he really wanted to say died on his lips.

"But what?" Leon asked, his temper feeling a little bit frayed by Cloud's constant cryptic answers.

"Nothing, I'll see you later." Cloud replied as he turned his attention back to the window and the city below.

Only spearing a few seconds thought over what Cloud had been going to say, Leon stepped out of his apartment and began walking to his office. _'Just forget it.'_ He thought to himself. _'Just go to work, come home and then fuck his brains out. That's what you should have been doing all this time.'_ Leon's self preservation voice said to him. On some level Leon did wonder how it ever got to this. A very much needed fuck was all he had planned it to be in the beginning. When he had first laid eyes on Cloud he knew that he was going to have him. He couldn't believe how easy Sephiroth had made it for him, but still here he was. _'Just fuck him and then send him back to that bastard. If Cloud wants to be moody and distance himself then he can.' _ His inner voice was telling him. He couldn't get it to shut up. _'Just do what you know best. What does he mean to you anyway?'_ the question made Leon almost stop in his tracks. He had never asked that question in the six weeks that Cloud had been with him. What did Cloud mean to him?

As Leon sat himself behind his desk he couldn't quiet the voice that was telling him to run away and deny Cloud his last evening. He couldn't deny the fact that Cloud had pissed him off. He knew what the young man was doing. Hoping that the further away he seemed the easier it would be to leave and it was testing Leon to his limits. Not only did he have the prospect of sending Cloud back to a man who beat him and god knows what other terrible things, but he couldn't comfort Cloud either. The man was impossible. Leon had a good mind the fuck it all off. The temptation to stay in his office until tomorrow was getting harder and harder to resist. Leon didn't want to go back and have his last night with Cloud. He didn't want there to be a last night at all.

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After a few hours of work that he was only half concentrating on anyway, Leon gave up. He couldn't leave their last night like this; he had to get back and make Cloud talk. He had a lot to tell him. _'I couldn't even go five hours.'_ He thought sardonically with a smile. It took him less time to get back to his apartment than it had leaving it, and as he opened the door the smell of cooking wafted over him. Of all the things he expected to come home to, the sight that greeted him was not one of them. His barely used dining table was set for two, candles burning softly in the middle of it; two glasses of wine sat delicately next to two plates, and from somewhere in the kitchen sounds of movement could be heard as Cloud busied himself. Music he had forgotten that he owned was playing on a hi-fi system that he never switched on and as he looked closer at the table settings he saw cutlery and napkins that he had stored away knowing he would never have a call to use them.

Just as he was about to call out to signal that he was home, he turned and saw Cloud stood in the kitchen doorway and all sound died on his lips. Cloud had discarded his usual uniform and found some of Leon's old clothes. The leather trousers he wore were a perfect fit, hugging his hips seductively while the crisp white t-shirt, though a little big, hung from his broad shoulders, the hem resting just right on the top of the trousers, the studded belt peeking out from under the cotton fabric. Leon noted that he looked a little awkward stood there in the raging quiet, but he was struck dumb with the overwhelming sight of his lover looking so beautiful, so...human. At last Cloud no longer looked like the slave that Leon hated him to be, he looked like any normal person and for a moment Leon let himself believe that theirs was a normal life, and this was a normal evening.

"Wow." Was all Leon said as he looked Cloud up and down again. He didn't care that he was staring and he didn't care that he was making Cloud blush under his intense scrutiny. He just wanted to make sure that he never forgot this image. "Wow, you look..." Leon was literally lost for words. "You look...amazing." He finally finished as his gaze came to rest incredulously on Cloud's beautiful, abashed face.

"I borrowed some clothes, I hope you don't mind." Cloud replied tugging a little self-consciously at the bottom of his shirt. Leon just shook his head, his mouth still hanging open a fraction as he gawped at the sight in front of him.

"No, I...What's all this for?" he asked looking around again at his transformed apartment, noticing for the first time the other candles dotted about the place, the main light turned down low

"You said...you didn't know when your birthday was. I...I know it's not August but I figured we might not have another chance." Cloud said as he stepped further into the room.

Leon felt a pain cinch in his chest and he realised for the first time in his life that he had never celebrated his birthday. He also realised that he had never thought that odd and he had a moment where he felt incredibly sad about that. He felt tears well up in his eyes as he looked back at Cloud's expectant face and he couldn't even begin to name all of the emotions that he was feeling. He couldn't believe that Cloud had done this for him. He couldn't believe he had never done this for himself. How could he have never celebrated his own birthday?

"I...I...I don't know what to say." He whispered as a tear found its way free and tracked down his cheek. Leon barely registered it. "No one has ever done anything like this for me before."

Cloud was stood in front of Leon now and he saw the tears on Leon's face. He reached up and brushed them away feeling his initial excitement at his surprise slowly ebb away. He hadn't wanted to make Leon cry.

"I didn't mean to make you sad." He said with a wry smile.

"I'm not sad." Leon replied as he returned the affectionate gesture, his fingers cupping Cloud's jaw. "I'm just...Happy. I...Thank you." He said; his grin growing wider as he realised that joy was one of the emotions he had such difficulty in pin pointing.

"You're welcome." Cloud replied as he mirrored Leon's goofy grin. He leaned in then and kissed Leon with a directness and certainty that he couldn't have felt just a month ago. Cloud reluctantly pulled away enough to look Leon in the eye, watching all of his emotions swirl in them, loving that he had caused them.

"Dinner's ready." Cloud said softly as he pulled away and walked into the kitchen leaving Leon to reel for a moment or two. Sitting himself down, still dumbstruck over the turn of events Leon looked at the beautifully laid table. He knew that everything on it was his, but he had such a feeling of unfamiliarity that it felt like he was sat at someone else's table, in another time and place and it was a wonderful feeling.

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After diner, they both sat at the table, Leon's feet resting comfortable on top of Cloud's, his left hand curled around the stem of his wine glass, the fingers of his right hand entwined with Cloud's.

"You have no idea what it meant to me. To come home and find...all this." Leon said with a slight pause as he looked about himself again. His fingers gripped a little tighter as he held Cloud's hand and just that one small intimate gesture, as tiny and superfluous as it seemed made them both feel normal.

"Isn't this what normal people do?" Cloud said, airing both of their feelings. He looked down at his empty plate, regretting his reference to their completely abnormal lives. He wanted to forget about that, just for tonight at least.

"I wish..." Cloud began, he didn't know whether now was such a good time to talk about such things, but he couldn't help himself. Maybe it was the wine, maybe not.

"I wish, we could do this every night." He admitted feeling his face grow hot. "I wish that, tomorrow I'll wake up with you and you'll go to work, and then when you come home you'll find me here again... waiting for you." Cloud was in no mood to be coy. Uncharacteristically he found himself wanting to say a lot more. He had an awful lot of wishes and he wanted to tell them all. "I wish no one else in the world mattered." He continued feeling brave enough to look up into Leon's face. "I want to stay here with you." He confessed, feeling his face burning with embarrassment and not caring one single bit.

Leon could feel his heart breaking at his lover's earnest words. He knew Cloud's feelings, he had similar feelings of his own and they hurt just as much and he longed to have the power to change it all and make it right. Leon thought for a moment more about his resolution from the other night, about how certain he was that he needed to leave and take Cloud with him no matter where it would lead them. He had no idea whether he had the strength to leave, he had thought about it several times before and always managed to find reasons why he shouldn't, but now the biggest reason why he should was staring him in the face. He couldn't be weak anymore.

"Cloud, I..." Leon began, feeling anxiety wash over him for some unknown reason. "I want to talk to you about something." He said as he gripped Cloud's hand a little better wanting him to know the seriousness of this conversation. "I have a friend, I know him and I trust him and if you wanted... He could get you out." Leon said bluntly, deciding it would be best if he got straight to the point before he lost his nerve.

The look of confusion that came across Cloud's face did not escape Leon's attention but he hadn't finished. "I could arrange it so that... so that you could escape safely, he could take you some where safe and hide you. Not even I would know where you were. Sephiroth would never find you I promise."

Cloud was stunned to silence for a few moments. Of all the things that he had been expecting Leon to say, this was not one of them. It seemed like this was a night for surprises all round.

"But...but what about Tifa? If HE knew that I was gone he would waste no time in finding her." Cloud said. He couldn't even believe that he was entertaining the possibility. "She would be in danger from the moment I disappeared."

Leon had considered this angle and was hoping that his solution would be enough to convince Cloud of his plan. "I know and I'm not suggesting that you leave her behind. I could arrange for her to meet you, before you even escape. She would be waiting for you. No one will find either of you; you'll be safe I promise." Leon knew he had the ability and the authority to arrange such a thing, buying Tifa and giving her freedom would not be a problem. He looked at Cloud now, he was deep in thought and not for the first time Leon wished that he could read Cloud's mind. After a long silence Cloud looked up from his plate and looked straight into Leon's eyes. He shook his head.

"No." He said wanting desperately to take Leon up on his offer. "No, what about you?" he said as he withdrew his hand from Leon's grasp. "You... you could get caught, you would be found out. I know Sephiroth; he wouldn't stop until he found out how." Cloud was adamant. He couldn't let Leon put himself in danger like that, not for him.

"Don't worry about Sephiroth, he's my problem. I just...I just want you to be safe. I can't stand the thought of you going back to him." Leon was not afraid of saying what was in his heart now. If that's what it took to convince Cloud to go, he needed to tell him.

But Cloud was in no mind to comply. Standing up he turned and walked over to the window looking out over the city that was lit with a thousand street lights. 'This is so crazy.' He thought to himself. His freedom was out there, he could have it and Leon was offering it to him on a plate, if only he could bring himself to leave Leon behind. He despised having to make that decision. Why should he have to? Leon was a prisoner just like himself. He may not have said as much but Cloud knew from how little he had said that he never chose this life, and now because of Sephiroth neither of them could leave it.

Cloud felt himself being brought to the edge of frustrated angry tears. He couldn't leave. As crazy as it sounded he would rather stay in his hell, and have the chance of seeing Leon (even if it was every now and again) than run away and never see him again.

"I won't go." He said his voice wavering with the weight that his decision brought. He knew what he was condemning himself to, but he couldn't let that change his mind.

"How can that be your decision?" Leon shouted as he stood up almost knocking the chair over as he did so. He couldn't understand, he was offering Cloud freedom and he wouldn't take it. "Don't you know what will happen if you stay?"

"I don't care." Cloud replied knowing that he was lying.

"Sephiroth will kill you!" Leon shouted again as he stepped nearer to Cloud. "Maybe not straight away but over time, he'll get tired of you. Eventually you'll mean nothing to him, not even a convenient fuck and he'll kill you. Do you understand?" Leon was directly in front of Cloud now and he didn't care that his words had caused Cloud to shed the tears that were resting in his eyes.

"If you go, you'll have a chance of living. If you stay you'll die and you know it." Leon said more gently as he wiped the tears away.

"I...I...I don't want to go. Not without you." Cloud all but whispered as he subconsciously leaned into the tender touch.

Leon sighed, he tried to think of every possible way that he could escape too, but every way seemed to bring more danger to Cloud. He could be easily followed, his I.D could be tracked, and people would recognise him. Any of those scenarios could happen and then it would be game over for everyone involved. But he knew that Cloud would not go unless he did.

Leon drew Cloud into a hug, planting a kiss against his forehead as he did. He felt Cloud grip him tightly, his arms snaking around him to bring their bodies against each other. Leon breathed in deeply loving the unique smell of Cloud washing over him.

"I won't leave you here alone." Cloud whispered to him huskily. "You deserve to be free too."

Cloud's acknowledgement of his own similar plight made the last resistant shards in his heart break, and Leon couldn't argue anymore. No matter how much more dangerous Leon's escape made it, he had to go too.

"Okay." He said running his fingers through Cloud's soft hair as he whispered into it, his gaze looking far out over the city as his mind tried desperately to ignore the feeling of dread that had settled in his heart. He felt Cloud bury his face away deeper into the crook of his neck and he kissed his head, fighting against the feeling that he had just signed both of their death warrants.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Cloud knew the enormity of the conversation they had shared, but at that moment as his body sung with desire and passion he couldn't bring himself to care. Leon was deep inside him and all he could feel was hot burning need. Leon's hands played deftly over his sensitive skin, knowing just where to touch him to make him whimper with desire.

Leon's gentle rocking motion was causing Cloud's mind to drift away his only thoughts were of the man that was softly making love to him. On some level he was aware that the older man had leaned in and was viciously sucking on his neck, his hands clutching him leaving bruising marks on his hips and thighs and he loved it, knowing that he was completely Leon's. All of him, body, soul and mind were with Leon and as he came he called out his lover's name in a cry that caused Leon to come all on its own.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

It was late but neither Cloud nor Leon wanted to sleep. Neither of them wanted to waste a second that they had left and both of them were acutely aware that with the dawn brought Sephiroth's return.

"When the time comes, I'll let you know okay?" Leon whispered into Cloud's hair as the younger man rested his head on Leon's chest. "All you have to do is go with Zack and he'll bring you to me." Leon had explained that they would wait until Sephiroth was away on duty before his friend and fellow Soldier led Cloud out and away from the Soldier compound. "Tifa and I will be waiting for you. We'll be out of the city by nightfall." Cloud nodded wordlessly not trusting his voice with the enormity of what they would soon be doing.

"I'll start arrangements for Tifa's freedom in the morning. We'll be free by the end of the week okay?" The hand that rested on Leon's stomach balled into a fist and Cloud reached out to grasp it. He brought it to his lips and softly kissed it wanting to sooth his older lover as much as he felt he was able to.

"Okay, don't worry." He replied as he squeezed the hand. "Everything's going to be alright." He said wishing that he could believe what he was saying. "But, if...if Zack and I... If we get caught..." he tried to say but Leon stopped him, not wanting to hear the possibilities of 'what if'.

"Don't."

"If we get caught..." Cloud continued, not letting Leon stop him. "Then promise me...Promise me you'll still go. Get Tifa away, don't let Sephiroth get to her too?"

Leon was silent. He didn't know whether he could make such a promise. If Cloud was caught trying to escape, he couldn't promise that he would do anything to try and save him.

"Leon!...Promise me!" it was a demand, not a request and even now with everything that had happened and everything that was going to happen, Leon couldn't deny Cloud anything.

"Alright, I promise." He whispered. Cloud returned his head to Leon's chest, loving the soft rhythmic beat of his heart. It almost sent him to sleep, almost.

Both men lay awake until dawn, neither of them wanting it to come.

A/N Blah...it took me a while to be bothered to finish this. Dam thing just wouldn't be written. Having said that I love the interaction between Leon and Cloud when Leon comes home from work. I had visions of putting Cloud in a comedy apron, maybe one with inflatable breasts, but alas I didn't want to spoil the mood. So with that thought resigned to my spank bank I wrote him in some sexy leather instead.

I hope you all liked, we're coming close to the finish now so stay tuned for chapter six.

Much love.x.x.x.


	6. And It Was You

Chapter Six

....And It Was You.

'_Pride can stand, a thousand trials,  
The strong will never fall  
But watching stars without you,  
My soul cried..._

_-_Des'ree (Kissing You)

Sephiroth sat behind his desk in a contemplative mood. Considering he had only been back in his office for half an hour things had taken an interesting turn indeed. His fingers were arched underneath his chin as he rested his elbows on the arms of his chair, his eyes scanning the report in front of him over and over, just in case he had missed anything. Just moments earlier he had his Third Lieutenant standing in front of him, giving his de-brief.

"_Well Lieutenant, make it quick." Sephiroth said as he lowered himself into his chair. He seemed for the most part uninterested. _

"_Sir, in regards to the target you asked us to track in your absence. The Commander has displayed some unusual activity concerning his daily movements and bank account." The Lieutenant stepped forward and placed a folder in front of the General who looked at it for a few seconds before picking it up. He gave nothing away of his surprise as he flipped through the folder._

"_The Commander has been working from home these past few weeks, only making brief stops at his office. His interaction with his fellow officers has been limited too." The Lieutenant went on. "With regards the Commanders account, there has been very limited activity. That is until this morning when a large amount of Gill was wired to the joint account of Mr and Mrs Reese. The transaction was for a one Tifa, last name unknown. She is believed to be a slave owned by the couple._

_Sephiroth's eyebrow was raised at this last bit. The name, Tifa; It rang a bell._

"_Not any more it would seem." Sephiroth looked up at the Lieutenant and gestured for him to continue._

"_We have surmised that the Commander has purchased this slave, but we are still unsure as to why. She has not yet been moved and we are also puzzled as to where the Commander intends to keep her. In an attempt to gather more information we tapped the Commanders private phone line, however all we were able to retrieve was a conversation between himself and First Class Lieutenant Fair, sir. The conversation was seemingly unrelated."_

"_Anything else?" the General asked, almost as if he was bored._

"_Yes Sir, one more thing. The telephone conversation itself did not appear to be linked to the slave girl but it was in itself somewhat suspicious. I have included a transcript in with the report."_

_The General flipped through the report now with a renewed interest. Wondering what Leon and Lieutenant Fair could possibly have to say to each other that could be construed as suspicious. Quickly scanning through the transcript the General soon discovered why._

"_Hum, yes a little suspicious. Very well Lieutenant Almasy you are dismissed. I will take over these investigations from now on." _

_With one final solute Third Class Lieutenant Almasy left the General's office. His heart didn't stop pounding until he was back in his own office. He wouldn't like to admit it to any one because that was the sort of man that Seifer prided himself to be, but the General was one scary son- of-a-bitch._

Sephiroth supposed that he should have been more surprised. At least a little bit angrier than he was. After all, it looked as though the Commander was up to something, something that he clearly didn't want to be made public and that in Sephiroth's mind could only mean one thing, betrayal. His thoughts switched then to his other spy. His slave did not know it but he had unwittingly been a part of Sephiroth's plan to keep tabs on the Commander, maybe he could tell him something about what Leon had been up to?

Sephiroth knew that he could be a man of patience if he had to, but his patience with his Commander was all but run out. Ever since his near Mutiny eight years ago, the General had kept it in mind that Leon could become a loose cannon. He was good at his job, and that was his only saving grace, but Sephiroth was more than aware that other than that he had made a bad choice in Commander Leon and he had made no secret in letting the young man know that he was being watched.

"Now we will see if you have created your own rope to hang yourself with." Sephiroth muttered to himself as he picked up a picture of the Commander leaving the apartment complex. Sephiroth squinted a bit harder at the picture, clearly seeing what was tucked under Leon's arm. A bundle of clothes and a pair of shoes poked out and Sephiroth's mind turned to the telephone transcript.

_Commander Leon: I'll leave the package outside the compound, by the old Toll house._

_Lieutenant Fair: Sure, I know where. I'll find it don't worry Leon._

Sephiroth was in two minds. He was half certain that he should go now and intercept this 'package', but then it always had been more fun to sit back and wait for your enemy to come to you. An ambush was always guaranteed to entertain.

Rising from his desk he decided that it was a decision that could be made after a hot bath and a meal. Plus he did have his slave waiting for him.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Cloud knew the meaning of the word _torture_. He had lived it every day for the past...how long had it been? Cloud didn't even know anymore, his time in Radiant Garden split between before Leon and now after Leon. He thoughts flicked through the last six weeks with the Commander as he knelt, head bowed his eyes tightly closed, trying to remember, trying to comfort himself. He could hear the General finishing his meal, the light scrapping of his fork over the plate, the clinking of his wine glass on the expensive mahogany table, and he knew he was being tortured. This waiting game that the General loved to play, this drawn out agony of not _if _but _when._ The anticipation filled the room with a stifling heat that pressed around Cloud like smog. This was the worst torture of all. Cloud's shoulders ached with the tension that was wound up in them, his hands held firmly behind his back in an attempt to stop the trembling in them. He licked his lips, trying to remember the feel of the kiss that Leon pressed to them just hours before, his last goodbye. For now at least, Cloud told himself.

Cloud felt more than heard the General stand from the table, his movements soft and threatening as the rustle of fabric alerted Cloud to his approach.

"Stand." The General commanded in his silken voice.

With an inward sigh, Cloud bolstered himself and stood, his eyes cracking open to stare at the patch of carpet between himself and his captor. Just a few inches, that's all there was but to Cloud it felt like a no-man's-land of space.

"I wonder" the General spoke again "I wonder if you have missed me at all?" He taunted as he reached out a hand to stroke the skin of Cloud's jaw lightly. "But I doubt it."

Cloud fought to suppress a shudder that ran through him at the unwelcome touch, hating the mockery of such an action, especially after Leon.

"How did you enjoy your time with our Commander then?" Sephiroth asked as he continued to track his hand up into Cloud's hairline, his thumb ghosting over the shell of his ear.

Cloud was unsure how he should answer such a question. Did the General even want an answer or was he just taunting him further?

"Was he an agreeable Master?"

There was a short silence before Cloud decided that he had better answer.

"He was fine, Master. We barely spoke." He lied, hoping this answer would suffice.

"You barely spoke?" The General sounded surprised at this. "What, no midnight chats and pyjama parties?" he chucked as Cloud knew he was goading him. The General's mirth faded as he dropped his hand to his side again.

"Tomorrow, you must tell me everything that happened while you were with the Commander, his every movement, understand?" Cloud nodded, fear flaring up in his chest at what that could mean. He would have to think up a convincing lie. Or else the General already knew what had happened between them and he was merely testing Cloud? But Cloud doubted that. If the General knew, he would surely be dead by now.

"Good. Now, follow me."

Cloud had to try his hardest not to bolt for the door at this command, knowing that as soon as the General closed the door to his bedroom, his physical torture would begin.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

"Well, I think you're crazy, but if you've gotta do it, then you've gotta do it." Zack was a little baffled as to why now, of all times the Commander was planning on doing a runner. He had known Leon for a long time. He had seen him through his worst times with the General and had never gotten a suspicion that Leon would run away. But now, all of this over a slave?

"I've been putting this off for far too long." Leon said as he sat perched on the window sill overlooking the city, much like Cloud had done just yesterday before Leon had left for work. His right knee was raised up, his elbow resting on it as he worried his bottom lip with his fingers. Fingers that were twitchy and restless.

"Yeah but you do realise that if you get caught, its suicide?" Zack felt like he had to make that point, even if it was obvious. Leon just nodded.

"I gotta ask though..." Zack wasn't sure whether he should put this delicately or not. He had never been one for beating around the bush, though he could be tactful if he wanted to. "All of this, over a slave?" he asked as gently as he could. He may have been Leon's closest friend, but Leon was still the Commander.

"He's not just a slave." Leon replied quietly. He would have gotten angry with that term if it had been anyone else, but this was Zack.

"I'm gonna miss you." Zack said suddenly and without embarrassment. Leon turned to look at his friend and realised for the first time exactly what he would be leaving behind.

"I'll miss you too." He said with a warm sad smile. They held each other's gaze for a moment longer before Leon turned his distracted thoughts back to Cloud. Thinking about him with the General was enough to make him want to break out right there and then. Knowing what the bastard would be doing, knowing how Cloud would be suffering right at that moment. Leon clenched his fists, wanting nothing more than to punch something.

"Hey, try to stay calm yeah. It's only for tonight. This time tomorrow you'll be scot-free." Zack said noting the tension in Leon's shoulders and the way he balled his fists.

"Yeah, I know." Leon said with a heavy sigh as he forced himself to relax before he broke something.

"Where are you gonna go anyway?" Zack asked as he stood up from the couch ready to leave.

"I don't know. Anywhere I guess. Anywhere that isn't here." Leon said as he eyed the stuffed brown envelope on the table that Zack had dropped round for him.

"Huh, well then I guess this is good luck." Zack said as he stepped forward and extended a hand for Leon to shake.

"Don't you mean Goodbye?" Leon asked as he slid of the sill and took the offered hand.

"I don't do Goodbyes." Zack replied with a twinkle in his eye the corner of his mouth raised in an affectionate grin.

Leon's heart gave a little ache. Knowing that he would probably never see his best friend again, his statement made it all too poignant.

Deciding that words would just not do, Leon pulled Zack into a hug, holding him there for a few minutes before letting him go. "Thank you, for everything."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

"Take them off." It was the command that Cloud had been dreading. But hearing it now made his memories of it seem like images from a distant dream. Nothing could compare to the terrible foreboding that he felt as he forced himself to comply. Taking his clothes off felt like such a horrible betrayal, never mind what would happen afterwards.

"I'm impatient tonight slave." The General said with a heavy tone of anger at Cloud's dilly dallying.

'_Just one more night, that's all. It's just for one more night.' _

Eventually Cloud stood naked, his hands itching to cover himself but knowing better than to do that. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the General's smirk, making him shiver despite himself.

Sephiroth moved in front of the boy, loving how his size easily covered and towered over the younger's. He was dominating in all ways.

"It's been too long." He said simply as he ran his hands out over Cloud's shoulders and down his arms, possessing him. He ran his glare over Cloud's face, noting the tension in the set of his mouth and the glazed stare of his eyes. The boy was trying to block it all out, Sephiroth knew, but he would not be able to hide from him for very long. Replacing his stare with his hands he cupped his slave's face, funning his thumb over those inviting lips.

"Kneel." He commanded. "I want to fuck that beautiful mouth of yours." He continued with a smile.

With trembling legs, Cloud lowered himself to the floor his face now level with the leather covered groin of the General. Raising his hands to undo the buttons and zipper he pulled into himself, his brain switching to auto pilot, steadying him for the task at hand.

Sephiroth was already half hard. His excitement growing with the feel of the boy's hands on him, and then eventually his delicate breath misting over him. Grabbing a fistful of blond hair he urged the young slave faster, almost unable to wait for the soft moist heat of his mouth.

When it came, the General let out a soft sigh of contentment, the tip of his cock resting just inside the beautiful youth's mouth, the base held firmly by practiced fingers.

Sephiroth began to pump softly into the slave's mouth, his fingers flexing and grasping tightly in the blond spikes as Cloud fought not to gag. Cloud's eyes were tightly closed, his concentration on drowning out the sickening noises and soft grunts of the man standing above him. Heat flooded his cheeks, shame and anger washing over him with each thrust, but he didn't waver. _Just get this over with. Don't think about it, just don't think about it._

The agonising minutes seemed like hours to Cloud as he continued sucking harder in an attempt to make the General come faster, his jaw ached with the pressure. After a few moments more the General pulled away.

"On your feet." He ordered as he tugged on Cloud's hair.

Cloud obeyed, rising shakily and heading instinctively to the bed. He heard the General chuckle behind him at his predictability, but Cloud couldn't bring himself to care. He wanted this done with.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Leon wandered from room to room hating the emptiness that his apartment seemed to exude. It wasn't the noise he missed, Cloud having never been very rowdy but it was just his presence. A large void that Leon didn't even know Cloud could create was left when he had walked out the door this morning. Leon absentmindedly picked up the white tee shirt that Cloud had been wearing the day before and held it loosely in his hands. He contemplated sniffing it to comfort himself before he scoffed and threw the offending article away across the room.

"This is going to be a really long night if you keep that up." He said to himself before exiting to the living room.

He sat down at the table; a glass of whiskey already poured as he broke open the seal of the envelope that Zack had brought him. Looking at the contents he was amazed to find that his whole life's work, his entire savings could fit into such an average sized envelope.

Leon just hoped that it would be enough.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Sephiroth tracked his mouth along Cloud's jaw, loving the feeling of silky soft skin against his lips, his hips firmly rocking against Cloud. Raising himself up on his hands he looked down at his slave, not surprised to find his eyes tightly closed his face angled away.

And there on his neck was a faint mark. The milky colour of his delicate neck was marred with a small bruise that could not have come from him; not tonight.

Sephiroth ceased his rocking motion, only slightly frustrated with the lack of friction against his cock his puzzlement and his suspicion taking precedence in his mind now. 'Who had marked his slave?'

Taking the boy's neck in his hands roughly he turned his face this way and that, looking for more signs of damage. For the first time he scanned the boy's body from head to toe, really looking this time for anything that could give him more clues. On the boy's hips the General found two more bruises, ones that looked like finger marks. The General looked back to the boy's face, noticing how he had his eyes open now and they were staring at him with a mixture of uncertainty and fear.

"Where did these come from?" he asked, his voice deadly calm.

Cloud's heart was racing. His left hand automatically moving to his neck to cover up the teeth marks left by Leon that he had completely forgotten about.

Sephiroth saw the realization and the panic flash through the slave's eyes and his anger exploded through his chest. Still embedded in the young man he reached a hand up to his neck and gripped him with a ferocity that made Cloud choke.

"Where did it come from?" Sephiroth growled his grip on his neck getting tighter. Even as he asked the realisation dawned on him. His slave had been with the Commander, he could not have gotten them from anyone else. Suddenly everything fell into place and Sephiroth was taken aback for a moment as he couldn't quite believe the extent of the betrayal.

The Commander's bank account; the money that had been wired. The slave girl...what was her name? Tifa...the phone conversation....the 'package'....

Leon had been planning to run away... with his slave.

Cloud could see in the General's eyes as piece by piece their plan became all too obvious. Cloud had never been so afraid. Just as suddenly as the look of bewilderment had entered the General's eyes it was gone again and it was pure anger that replaced it.

"You let him fuck you!" it wasn't a question; the grip on his neck grew tighter still.

Even if Cloud could have defended himself, the chocking grip around his throat prevented any sound from escaping. He felt the General pull out of him, his other hand swinging back as he prepared to back hand the prone form on the bed.

Out of the corner of his eye, Cloud saw the hand as it came down. He knew he should have felt the sting of it as it made contact with his cheek, but all he felt was the force of it snap his head to the side. At least the General had let go of his neck.

Cloud gulped in a huge lungful of air, his throat burning his head reeling from the blow. Before he could recover he felt his body being pulled from the bed. Unable to find his balance his body was sent crashing to the ground as he came off the side.

Sephiroth was standing above him; his shadow loomed over the slave as Cloud felt the dread in his heart seep out into his body. His only thought was of Leon; he had failed him.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Lieutenant Almasy marched to the Generals quarters with urgency. He didn't know whether he had any right to interrupt him at this hour but he felt sure that the information he had would pacify any rage that might be sent his way.

Standing outside the General's door he waited for a few moments to collect his nerve before knocking loudly. There was a few seconds of silence that followed before Seifer knocked again.

Whatever Seifer had been expecting when the General opened the door in a flurry of anger, it was certainly not the image that was stood in front of him now.

The General was stood completely naked, his pale skin splattered with blood, drops of it clinging to his long silvery hair as his stuck to his face and neck. His eyes were blazing green and on his cheek a set of scratch marks could be seem underneath all of the gore.

"..." Seifer had to think fast to make his mouth work.

"What is it Lieutenant?" the General barked.

"S...Sir I...I have...Sir is everything alright?" he felt he had to ask.

"What do you want Almasy?" the General's voice was low and inferred impatience.

"Sir I have new and important information regarding the Commander that I thought you might want to know about." He said in a rush, wishing that he had saving this for tomorrow morning.

"..." the General waited for him to continue.

"T...the Commander has withdrawn all of his savings from his account. It's completely empty. I suspect that he is planning to abscond."

The ferocity in Sephiroth's eyes seemed to dim a little at this, almost as if he was being brought back from some crazed world in his own mind and he was remembering something that he had been distracted from

"Bring him to me. Now!" he said, his voice smooth and like silk once again.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Leon felt slightly giddy from the whiskey he had just finished. His head was rested in his hands as he sat at the table, waiting. He felt like he had never waited so much in all of his life. A loud urgent knocking at the door startled him and he jumped slightly. A feeling of uncertainty stabbed at him then; wondering who could need to speak to him at this hour, but his curiosity got the better of him.

Standing a little unsteady to his feet he walked over to the door and pulled it open a fraction. Peering through the small gap he saw Lieutenant Almasy stood in the hallway. He looked...flustered?

"What is it Lieutenant?" he asked wearily.

"Commander, the General wishes to see you." He said curtly.

A flutter of fear spread in Leon's chest.

"Why?" He asked; not wanting to give anything away.

"I don't know Sir. But he wants to see you in his quarters immediately. I'm to escort you." He finished with a look of authority that irked Leon more than he would care to admit.

The fluttering of fear spread to a dull panic as his mind began to scour possible reasons why the General would want to see him in his private quarters.

"Fine; lead the way." Leon said in a mocking gesture. Closing the door behind him he set off following Seifer back to the General's apartment.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Leon felt like it wasn't himself watching as Seifer knocked on the door. He felt displaced, like he was watching someone else through his own eyes. He didn't know why though. Surely nothing could have gone wrong just yet? Surly they still had a chance. But still Leon couldn't shake off the terrible feeling of foreboding in his mind.

The General opened his door and to all intents and purposes he looked much unchanged from the last time Leon had seen him; apart from a set of scratch marks on his right cheek, the General was immaculate.

"Thank you Lieutenant, you may leave now."

Seifer gave a small solute before turning to Leon. He gave Leon a look that for some reason unnerved the Commander further. It was a look that warned him to be careful and something else which Leon couldn't even begin to place.

"Come in Commander." He heard the General say. He turned from watching Lieutenant Almasy walk away and kept his eyes carefully downcast as he walked past Sephiroth into the living room.

The atmosphere was too quiet. Leon cast his eyes about briefly in the hopes of spotting Cloud somewhere but he was nowhere to be seen. Choosing to stand some way off from the General as he prowled round the Commander he hoped that this would be a short visit.

The silence was beginning to irritate and unnerve Leon and as he stood in a loose stance, his hands behind his back waiting for the General to speak first he was keenly aware that the General was circling him and somehow weighing him up. The silence stretched on until Sephiroth was stood directly in front of the Commander, their two gazes never wavering from each other. Leon had begun to realize that this was a challenge and he would not back down.

Leon thought that the silence would never end and that the General intended to stare at him all night. But if anyone was good at stony silences and unwavering glares then it was Leon.

"You've been fucking him, haven't you?"

Leon's heart stopped beating. He felt the hot tingling in his face as the fear drained all colour from his cheeks. He felt the loosening in his body as his wound up nerves sprang free and a dead weight come over him.

His face remained impassive, he would not let on. He didn't know how Sephiroth knew, but if this was a trick to get him to confess, then Leon would not play into his hands.

"What?" he asked, his voice level and deadly calm.

The smile that spread over the General's face was a smile that told Leon all he needed to know.

Sephiroth knew.

"You have been fucking him. I can tell." Sephiroth said a note of amusement entering his voice. "And you've been up to a lot more than that as well."

Leon's heart was pounding against his ribcage now, the thud of it making his chest ache.

"I don't know what..." Leon didn't get to finish his sentence.

Sephiroth moved so fast that he was knocked to the floor within seconds. Leon lay there stunned, holding his stinging cheek with bewilderment. Raising himself up on his elbow he looked at the General incredulously.

"Do not waste your time lying to me." Sephiroth said his voice still low and calm and everything that it shouldn't have been. He knelt down next to the sprawled out Commander reaching out to take a clump of hair in his hand wrenching Leon's head back.

"I know everything." He all but whispered.

Discarding Leon like a rag doll he stood up and walked across the room, picking up a small blade from the table that he had eaten at not two hours ago.

"So, tell me. Did you enjoy him?" Sephiroth asked as he cleaned under his nails with the point of the knife. "You must have seeing as though you plan to run away with him." he mocked as his eyes turned a darker shade of green at this statement.

"He must have been good for you to go to all this trouble."

Leon was still stunned into silence. He couldn't believe that it was over. He had everything planned, how could it be over?

"After all this time, you still don't seem to understand." The General went on; his voice taking on a deadlier tone. "I would have thought that you would have learnt all those years ago, when your disobedience killed all of those helpless people."

Leon's mind flashed back to that day with the burning village, countless people dead and dying all around him and it was entirely his fault.

"_...Never cross me."_

"No..." Leon tried to defend, but no matter which way he looked at it, it was all still his fault.

Sephiroth smiled, loving how his words were obviously tearing the Commander's mind, making him doubt his self, making him weak.

"You killed those people, and now you have sealed that whore's fate as well."

Leon's heart gave a leap of panic. He could cope with anything that the General had to throw at him; he had lived with it almost his entire life, but Cloud...

"Where is he?" he asked with an air of authority he didn't feel.

The General's smile was gone now; his face stony and impassive, but his eyes held the light of a manic.

"You'd better go to him." he said nodding his head towards the bedroom door. "He doesn't have much time left."

Leon's heart fluttered at those words, choosing to ignore them and tell his self that Cloud was alright, that this wasn't happening. He scrambled to his feet, nearly tripping himself up as he hurried to the bedroom door, knocking it open so that it crashed against the wall and flew back nearly hitting Leon in the face. His desperate eyes scanned the room almost missing the prone form on the floor behind the bed. All Leon could see were feet, but he knew it was Cloud.

Rushing over to him he didn't stop, not even when he caught full sight of him. Not even the image of Cloud so bloody and bruised and obviously beaten could make him stop and he threw himself down at Cloud's side.

Cloud's eyes were closed in pain, his face covered in bruises and cuts, blood resting in thick droplets on his lips and eyelashes. His breathing was stuttered and heavy and laced with groans of effort and agony. As Leon scanned his disbelieving eyes over his lover he noticed the many other wounds. He couldn't even begin to take it all in.

"C...Cloud?" he asked tentatively, not daring to reach out his hand and brush some of the bangs that had stuck to the blonds' face. Cloud's eyes opened, but for a few moments they remained unseeing.

"Cloud...I..." Leon didn't know what to do.

Reaching out he placed a hand over Cloud's left one, gripping his fingers tightly; his other hand went to stroke the soft but matted hair, trying his best not to startle his younger lover.

Cloud's eyes slid over Leon's face, recognition slowly dawning in them.

"L...Leo...Leon..." he stuttered, a small smile gracing his lips. Leon didn't know how Cloud could smile at a time like this, but he never had been able to deny Cloud anything and he smiled back.

Slowly the smile faded from Cloud's lips. "I'm...s...sorry." he whispered as Leon could see tears pooling in the corner of his eyes.

Leon shook his head, not understanding.

"I...I'm sorry." Cloud repeated closing his eyes against the pain and the tears.

Leon watched as one traced its way down Cloud's face, collecting blood as it went and staining Cloud's hairline a faint pink.

"Don't be sorry...what have you got to be sorry for?" Leon asked as he continued to stroke the hair away from Cloud's face.

A spasm of pain took both of their attention and it was only then that Leon noticed the knife wound in Cloud's stomach and his heart sank. Placing his hand back over Cloud's where he tried to staunch the bleeding he knew it was hopeless, but he couldn't bring himself to accept it.

"You're gonna be fine okay...just...just hang on." Leon couldn't think of a way to make this okay. He knew he was lying.

Cloud knew too, he shook his head and scrunched his eyes at another spasm of pain.

More minutes passed as Leon watched his lover die, he didn't even notice as tears of his own began to spring free. Taking Cloud into his arms he pulled him as close as he could, holding him as near to his chest as he could, wanting to protect him even if it was a useless gesture now. He felt Cloud's breathing begin to slow and even out, his shuddering gasps becoming less urgent and Leon couldn't stand it.

"Please Cloud...Don't...." he sobbed into his lover's hair. "Please don't leave me here."

Leon clutched at Cloud harder, rocking him back and forth as if the movement would help.

Moments later Cloud stopped breathing, his hand falling limply to his side.

The silence was so deafening, it hurt Leon's ears, his own sobs so quiet that they were almost inaudible and his whole body shook with the effort of grief.

"Do you understand now?" Sephiroth's poisonous voice broke through the agony and it reached Leon with a frightening clarity, almost as if he was hovering over his shoulder.

"I control you." He all but whispered as he stood triumphant over the Commander.

Leon struggled to regain his breathing, pulling back his tears so that he could stand and face the General. As he let go of Cloud, softly placing him back to the carpet he took one last look, hating the lifelessness he found in those dead blue eyes.

He stood now, as an eerie calm enveloped him the feelings of helplessness and loss too overwhelming to fight. He had no fight left now.

"Yes Father, I understand." He whispered quietly as he continued to look down at his fallen lover.

Sephiroth walked towards him, knowing that the fight in Leon had finally gone out. He reached out and tugged at the Commander's chin, silently ordering him to look at him.

"You had such promise." He said; his fatherly disappointment well misplaced. "That was why I saved you. And look at how you repay me." He said as he snapped Leon's face away.

"I'm sorry." Leon said his gaze back on the dead body of his lover. Sephiroth didn't know but he thought the pathetic apology was mean for the slave as much for him.

"Get out." He snarled. "You are dismissed."

'_Where are you now?  
Where are you now?  
'Cause I'm kissing you.  
I'm kissing you.'_

A/N There will be an epilogue to this story, and an explanation if some people want it. I hope you all enjoyed.

Much love.x.x.x.


	7. Epilogue

Epilogue.

Leon sat hunched up in his bathroom wedged in between the toilet and the sink, the cool porcelain refreshing against his heated skin. He had turned the shower on and the small room was filled with steam but he had not yet climbed in, unwilling to wash away the last remaining traces of Cloud from his body no matter how macabre it was. The patches of dried blood stuck his tee shirt to his chest and his hands were crusted with the stuff, yet it was weirdly comforting. Cloud was still with him.

As he breathed heavily on the warm, misted air the sound of his door opening and closing in quick succession didn't even make him flinch. He was dimly aware that there was someone in his apartment.

"Leon?" a familiar voice called out but Leon didn't have the heart to respond.

The sound of someone approaching came closer and even when the door to his bathroom was swung open slowly he didn't even look up.

"Leon?" Zack called again, this time more softly and hesitant.

Leon's eyes were still fixed on the tiles between his feet, his gaze unseeing, even though he knew Zack was standing there, hovering over him.

"Leon, buddy?" Zack asked tentatively again as he crouched down. "Hey, you in there?"

Leon lifted his gaze, his eyes filled with hollowness and unshed tears. His face was expressionless yet even so Zack could read the swirling emotions that were fighting in Leon's heart.

"I heard...Some of the guys...saw you walking ...I thought..." For a moment Zack looked just as traumatised as he tried to convey what he feared had happened to his friend, but it was quickly replaced with concern once again.

"What happened?" He asked, unsure if he really wanted to know.

Leon could have laughed then. He felt the humourless chuckle rise up in his chest and bubble before it fizzled out to nothingness and pain.

"He's gone." He croaked out.

"Who?"

"Cloud...He's..." He couldn't say it.

Without another word, Zack all but swooped in and collected Leon into a hug that was so tight Leon felt the tears that were standing out in his eyes fall and the sound of a gut wrenching sob escape his lips.

Zack held him like that for a long time.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

"I...I don't understand." Tifa said for the second time. Her head shook from side to side, refusing to believe what she had been told. The man sat opposite her was sympathetic, his kind but sad smile knowing all too well the trauma that this particular person's death could bring.

"I'm sorry." He offered. Truly he was. Tifa seemed like a nice girl, she didn't deserve this.

"I...I...don't...What am I supposed to do?" she asked desperately.

Zack shrugged, that was something that he couldn't answer.

There was s few more moments of charged silence, the sounds of the cafe around them buzzing unobtrusively into their little world of heart ache and sympathy.

"But you know, if it makes it any easier, Leon he... he really did care about him." Zack offered not knowing how to put into words the feelings and emotions that were so alien to him. He didn't really know what had been between Leon and Cloud, he'd never seen it for himself, but he knew heart break when he saw it and he had seen Leon last night.

"I...I guess." Tifa said weakly.

Zack checked his watch and knew that he had to leave, sorry that he couldn't spend more time with Tifa, just to make sure she was alright.

"Listen, I ah... I gotta go." He said, standing up from the booth. "You'll be alright, right?" he asked hating the awkwardness of the situation. He felt like such a shit.

"Sure...why not?" Tifa said as she threw up her hands, a mockery of the phrase 'alright'.

"You're free now Tifa, you can do anything you want." Zack reminded her gently as he placed a hand on her shoulder.

She nodded pathetically.

"Oh hey, Leon said I should give you this." Zack remembered as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a brown paper envelope. He set it on the table and watched at Tifa picked it up dejectedly and looked inside. He almost cracked a smile as he watched her down cast expression turn to one of confusion and disbelief.

"Oh my...What's this?" She asked looking up at the Soldier in bewilderment.

Zack just shrugged, allowing himself to give her a small cheeky grin before replying.

"Freedom."


End file.
